Sunday, November 16, 2014

It simply is...

So it seems, as of late, I've been searching again.  Looking for answers, seeking out "why" and coming up empty.

I'm the sort of girl that wants an answer, needs understanding and likes the cause and effect of the end result. I'll even give you a box to put that answer or reason in.  If it doesn't fit...well, that's where I begin to derail.

Lately.  It just doesn't fit - doesn't add up - the how is without it's why and the answer is left without reason.

It just simply... is.

When the answers, reasons, whys and "are you freakin' kidding me's" are inside someone else's chamber of secrets you can bang on the door all you want.  They're just not going to answer that knock.

I've been one to settle, it doesn't sound like me, but I have; all too often.  I find I've done it again.  I love hard and I love strong.  I take care of "wounded birds" as Mama likes to call them.  I'm a caretaker and I adopt anyone that might be in need of help. I love and live for my family, I give because I want to; I need to.

Good traits?  I thought so.  But what happens when suddenly it's you sinking as you were bailing out the other's boat.

They like to talk about time for yourself.  They like to tell you "You're worth more..."

I would love to meet "they" and punch them in the throat and then maybe take a little time for myself because I'm worth more. wink.

There are too many people out there offering free advice of situations they have no idea how to handle. Not that anyone knows my situations but when they surface oh they'll be there.  Been there  before... THEY... will be there.

Then there are THOSE that know you...more than you realize.  They are those that I worry might be exactly right.  So, I sit, and wait, and pray.  Trying to find the answer that is right and the opportunity to make things better.

I'm on the search for smiles in my babies and mirroring their desire to climb higher and play harder. I'm on the hunt for laughing until my side hurts and my dimples ache...my head thrown back, hand on my chest, choke until I can't breathe kind of laugh.

It's a strange wind when the kids who have been raising you begin to understand, see and speak about things in your life, choices you've made and have answers to solve them - adult answers

It's silly really, when you try and spare your children from the aches of adulthood that they can spot a mile away.  My goodness I love those pidglets....

I am blessed... it just simply is (too)

Just thinking outloud... Happy Week!

Loves,
  Pidg

2 comments:

  1. kiss kiss hug hug...oh what a relief it is:) happy to read you again!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm always here :-)

    ReplyDelete

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