Friday, June 13, 2014

Friday Funnies

Good morning Friday!  Holy crud do you know what today is? Well yes, it's Friday the 13th and yes, it's the start of the weekend... soon.

It's a horrible day really. A day of betrayal, a day of promises broken, a day of celebration for all that is wrong in this world.  

It's graduation day for my second child.  WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Fine, I'm happy... kind of. Okay, fine, I'm trying to be happy. All I remember is when they were little they all promised they would live with me forever and not only did Moi promise this she ALSO promised she would stay 14 forever.  

She stayed tiny but not 14. I'm so misled.  sniff.

Okay.  I'm over it.  Not really but I'll let you know how it goes this evening. I actually can't wait to see the pictures of my afro once the humidity has it's way with me. My pretty Moi and her Mom (former member of the Jackson 5)

Speaking of all that is wrong in this world.  I just mentioned I wanted/needed chocolate. Remember me mentioning PMS - not to mention I'm female so chocolate is always a good solve. Well, not two seconds later and I mean a literal two seconds Po, that man that promised to have and to hold and cherish and all that crap... is eating peanut butter Oreos right in front of me.  I should take a picture.  

Hey! Why don't I eat chocolate AND gluten in front of a woman that is unstable and capable of killing me with her bare hands.... thinks the man that is being shunned as we speak.

I'm not over this one; another baby graduating ... maybe.  Oreos in front of me?  Never.

Eh hemmm.  In an attempt to change the subject do you want me to give you a quick recap of Friday Funnies since I haven't done one in like 150 years?

Okay... here's what I remember.  I imagine they will be a slow start but with summer coming they should start flooding back in. 

Hanna looks to Busy and puts on this creepy stalker face, "Hey little girl..." she extends her arms and moves towards her sister, "bring it in, come on let's cuddle it out."
Busy's eyes widen and about falls out from laughing as she responds, "I hate when you do that.  It's like I go into pedophile protection mode.  I feel like I'm in danger."

You understand now why I don't need TV in my house right?

Lil Red and I were talking about school and she lands on this kid and says, "I think he uses THE marijuana..."
We stare at each other blankly for a moment and she continues, "Wow, that's one way to know your kid isn't using drugs."

Lil Man and E were playing Minecraft on the 360...
Lil Man: "Bubba, hey Bubba.  I have a present for you."
Ethan opens the chest and discovers 64 cakes in it.  "Thanks Logan... thanks." he's such a patient and placating older brother.

I wish someone would give me a chest full of 64 cakes - chocolate as a matter of fact! Still not over it.

We're all in the living room and Ethan totally farts.  
He's hysterically laughing as we're all flippin' out and he says, "Sorry, it just slipped out!"
Me:  "You better build some stronger abs to hold those puppies in."
Busy:  "You better build stronger glutes to keep that puppy in... like steel doors or something!"

Incidentally we don't talk about bodily functions at the dinner table as much seeing as how my pidglets are growing and maturing past their mother's tact so when it comes up I feel somehow like we're all bonding.

Lil Red asked if I could take her to the store before school the other day to which I responded:
"Sure thing, I have to get some exercise pants anyways."
She stared at me with the most incredulous look.  No words.
I immediately began to defend myself.  "I've been exercising!  I have!  As a matter of fact, I wouldn't buy exercise pants until I knew I was actually following through..."
She giggles and says, "Oh, I thought you said Extra-sized pants.  And I'm thinking you're not that fat..."
blank stare
"You're not fat at all..."  giggles  "I love you?"

Thanks Red. wink.

While we're on the subject of Lil Red...
Me:  "You should learn to crochet.  I think it would be good for you to keep your hands busy and you would like it.  It's therapeutic."
Red:  "I don't want to crochet."
Me:  "Why not?"
Red: "Because I'm sure that I would."
Me:  cricket... cricket...
Red:  "Well, I would learn, and I would enjoy it and then I would turn into one of those old ladies that crochets all the time and has no life."
Me:  "Like your mother?"
Red:  "Yah... oh, I mean no... I love you?"

Did I say thanks Red?

Lil Red told me that she made a Vlog and that I should look it up on Youtube.  I tried but it wasn't coming up.
Lil Red:  "Okay, well just type in Hanna Thompson"
Me:  "How do you spell that?"
Red:  "H-A-N..."
Busy:  "Got 'em..."

Sucka!

Happy Friday.  Happy Weekend. I'm going to go wake up my 14-year-old daughter so that she can graduate from High School. sigh.

More out than over,

Loves,
  Pidg


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