Thursday, June 12, 2014

Chronicles of Movement: Ughh

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So... exercise.

The.End.

It's funny how completely convinced my slim and trim, athletic, runner of a doctor thinks exercise is good for your mental health.  Who came up with that one?  Like she's paid to tell me this? Really? All of these absurd articles trying to convince me that thinking about running and lifting isn't enough.  

What?  My foot just got caught in my cracked soapbox.  Okay, well it was worth a try to get someone else to be with me on this one.

Time for myself she says... it will be good for you she says... it will relax you... maybe even try and go out into your yard.  Yah... that's public by the way.  Just sayin'
She's not that slick.

It's funny in my younger years I was a competitive weight lifter, competitive swimmer and drank 2 gallons of water a day on a schedule.  I had my body trained to know when it was time to drink, pee and work out and most of all trained to not jiggle/jaggle when I walk.  

Then I became... the ice occasionally melts in my soda for my water intake girl. And exercise, now that I'm working from home, is sweeping the floor to collect ridiculous amounts of dog fur... daily though, I need to point out that is a daily get up and go thing.

So, I'm making a push.  A push because my doctor thinks I'm funny and that my legit (excuses) reasons for not moving are comical

I skipped my last appointment by the way... I know we go through this a lot don't we? We'll see who's laughing in the end.  (It won't be me) She always notices and then sends that minion of a nurse to call me and point out the obvious.  "Hey Pidg, you didn't show up again..."

Well, if they stopped making appointments I wouldn't have to ditch now would I?  Pshh... hey, ditching kind of sounds like exercising right?  No?

Okay, back to the push.  I'm making a push, I really am.  Would you like to know why?  

Because I respect my in-shape doctors opinion?
Not really, I know she's right... but I'm okay with being wrong.
Because I want to be able to eat more cheese and fattening foods?
Let's be honest, I'm going to eat cheese anyway.  I'm loyal to our relationship.
Because I want to lose that weight for summer swimsuit weather?
BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

Okay, for reals yo... (I still love to say that)  Yah, I'll be 40 this year why?

I need, in all honest to goodness truth, need to be a better (less lazy) example for my beautiful pidglets.  And in a little more honesty, I can't wait for next week when they are out of school and doing this awful mess with me.  Hehe... but if I don't get a head start they will be dragging me.  Not a good start as far as examples go.

But just so you know as I'm typing this, I've just finished my first 20 minutes on the elliptical and finished my glute/hams on my roman bench.  So, with water in hand, sweat on my brow and an unidentifiable smell looming strangely around me... I'm making the push.

To be continued....

Yah, I'm perfectly aware my guns are nowhere to be found and have been
 mysteriously replaced with bingo wings.
What is life?

Over and possibly soon to be laid out,

Loves,
  Pidg




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