Do you ever put restrictions on yourself and then wonder why the heck you did that?
I do. All.The.Time.
For instance I like to blog in the early morning or late at night. Generally this is because the pidglets are not awake. I like to do my thing with minimal interruption then publish, post my link on FB, Twitter and Instagram if I can figure it out again... which translates text Nay and say huh?
Well that's not convenient anymore after going back to work. I'm just too busy sitting on my heating pad and falling slowly sideways until my face is crumpled up with three chins smothered on Po's side of the bed.
So... I don't blog.
That's stupid. I mean I like to do things on my time but there just isn't a my time anymore.(Not since 1992 when my first daughter was born)
So I'm just going to sit here and do it now. Because then I've done it.
I do things like, not work on my seasonal line for The Cottage because I ground myself until my chores are done. The chores my children are all old enough and capable enough to do. But I'm frustrated and tired so I end up with arguing teenagers and a shop that's neglected when I should have just sat down and worked.
I think about Friday funnies as I hear them throughout the week and tell myself I'll remember them. Which we all know to be a lie; hence no Friday funnies. I could have just written them down.
I'm getting better at managing. Or starting over anyway. People have always asked me "how do you do it?" The oldest of 6 kids is getting married October 25th I still have 5 kids at home. I work full time and have 3 shops on Etsy. My response has always been, "It's not graceful."
Wow... just wow. Is that true.
I go to work now with my hair piled up on my head like a rats nest and smile like I don't know any better. I'm starting to allow myself those lil errors and just do the best that I can. Having lost control of what my body does or doesn't do has definitely given me a new perspective.
I can hear Lil Red hollering right now in my mind.. "yolo!" You only live once.
Life is too short for grounding yourself.
There's never enough time and it will never "be all done."
I don't feel the need much to sweat the little things.
I enjoy the work I put into things even if there is not much appreciation in it.
I mean really, after I work all day on my feet, come home to a trashed house with the villans lying on the couch. I make a wonderful dinner and everyone leaves the table when they're done eating leaving me to do the dishes.. I am just thankful for the opportunity to serve. HA! Lies. That still bugs the crud out of me.
But the lil things I usually find time to brush off.
The other night my girls got into a rip roaring fight. They don't happen often but when they do I usually let them ride it out. Well, when Lil Red is sitting next to me taunting Moi on the end of the bed and then Moi bates Lil Red into insulting her again so of course she rises to the occasion... you get a small petite daughter-o-mine lunging across the bed landing on said taller child and me and the box of cereal I'm munching on goes flying. It's simple math really.
Moi punches Red and Lil Red kicks her off as Moi goes flying backwards off the bed landing on the floor below Po and Busy stands up and yells "It's nice to be back home!" (she just got back from their cousins wedding in Washington state)
I disarm Lil Red in a headlock to get Moi out with her life but Lil Red is now bigger than me (thankfully I'm stronger) so I switch positions locking both of her arms behind her as she pushes my bed across the floor knocking over my unstable side table and Po just sits there bemused. (Poor Po) Moi exits the room as I calm Red down and I get her some Motrin. Yah... that's the product of my gene pool. They're Mama's girls.
While it sounds horrible it's kind of an annual thing, no worries. We're all tired, cranky and broken.
Life tips unevenly.
Sleep doesn't visit when it should.
Smiles creep back slowly and certainly.
My first instinct is always to place the problems of the world on myself but this time I didn't. I'm a good mom. I make mistakes; I'm very consistent. wink. But we are who we are and we hopefully learn along the way.
What I've learned. Do what I want/need to do when I have the time. Girls need more space to breathe when tension is high. A messy house can always be fixed...eventually. And it's funny when Berry Berry Kix fly off your bedspread onto the hardwood floor in the middle of the night when you roll over.
I'll blog sporadically. I'll post when I think about it. I'll remove the listing I had taken out for selling my children in the classifieds.
I'm tired. I'm happy. I need more protein.
Over and out of random thoughts.