Friday, June 7, 2013

Friday Funnies...

So I saw a camera bee outside … what’s a camera bee?  It’s this huge Japanese bee that is like the size of my thumb and we had a time when a certain someone was stalking me and we couldn’t figure out how they knew all of our comings and goings and one day we saw one of these bees out on the porch and we decided it was equipped with a camera that’s how we were being watched; hence, the camera bee was officially named.

So the camera bee was flying around on my porch looking all crazy and the size of my thumb, no joke.   So I with my death spray bravely busted out on the porch (hid behind the screen door) and sprayed him to death. 

Hanna had come out to see my handy work and on the way back in she says in her best gangsta voice, “Yo, MJ is dead yo.  We gotsta find out who dun it.”
So as Moi, Hanna and I sit gazing at its huge and scary body that I’m too freaked out to knock off the ledge until I know it’s good and crispy Moi says, “I wonder if his bee friends are creating like a law and order thing.  You know trying to figure out who killed him.”
Cue the theme song … no really, both girls started humming the theme song.  Dude, we don’t even have TV. 

Lil Man came home off the bus the other day and meanders into the house just like this. 

Me:  “Uhh, Lil Man, where did you get that?”
Lil Man:  “Oh a girl in my class got it with her tickets and gave it me.”
Me:  “Were there a lot of other heads in that thing?”
Lil Man:  “Nope, just mine.”
Me:  (sigh of relief) Then I turn around and Moi is wearing it.

Nice… stay classy kids.

Speaking of classy, we still haven’t grown out of the “I’m Lil Man and I pee in the yard before the bus comes.”  I wonder what the bus driving thinks when he sees him run out of the bushes some mornings.
Just looking for bunnies Mr. Bus driver, just looking for bunnies…

Hanna must have been thinking the same thing because she had gone out to the bus stop with us on the way back in began singing… “Lil bunny foo foo peeing in the forest…”

So Po took me to a movie which is rare.  We don’t escape often and I wasn’t real excited because of course, there are people there.  So I wanted nachos and in the middle of the movie he asked if he could have one.  So he grabs a chip and dips it in cheese then I hear him laughing.  (again man giggling is not really in his nature much) In a whispering tone, I’m like, “What?”

He had taken the lid to my small plastic container of jalapenos and dipped it in cheese.  He didn’t but almost put it in his mouth.  I’m surprised we didn't get “shh-ed” for laughing so hard.
Incidentally Moi found a lid just like that one and is going to give it to him and tell him she made his favorite treat.

While playing “Go fish” with Lil man he asks, “Do you have any Aces?”
Me:  (hesitate to look over the 8,000 cards I’m holding) “Umm nope, go fish.”
Lil Man:  (Looks at me doubtful) “Are you sure?  They have an “A” on them.”
Thanks Lil Man, that tells you how good at games I am.

Without me quoting the text messages I’ll just cut to the chase.  Nay called me Pudg instead of Pidg.  Yes, it seems to be sticking, I am loving that one let me tell ya.

Yes, I am finally gaining some weight, but now I’m like okay, we’re good, let’s stop here.  So to my defense I have birthed 6 pidglets and there are certain parts of my body that just did not go back where they were originally; skin being one of them.

Lil Red comes in as I’m hunched over the craft table and says, “Are you alright?  You look really big…” and then she motions around her stomach.
I happened to be on the phone with Nay and spoke nonchalantly, “Umm, can you call me fat when I’m off the phone please?”

She’s the child without a filter - so much tact that kid, so much tact.  (grin)

Then there was Busy's choir concert where she had a beautiful solo.  But her teacher decided she needed to get a fog machine.

Over the top?  I think yes,  Especially when the fog covered the kid singing and then made its way into the crowd.  Priceless.

Okay, that’s it for this edition.  I will be exercising and drinking water if you need me.  (Which translates to GF pizza and soda) same same.

Enjoy your weekend so I can live vicariously through you.



  1. The story about dipping the lid in cheese is priceless!!

  2. So I had the Law & Order theme song in my head but then realized it was actually the CSI one...and Mizzz Pudgy! You should've wrote how I yelled through the phone to my Moi-girl not to call her momma FAT! I think she does it out of love...isn't that why our mommas did it (snicker snicker...which makes me think of Snickers....great now I want one)

    Looked at flights to NC again...yes, just to torture myself that we can't see each other...
    >>>>LOVES, SUBSOL LOVE<<<<<

  3. oh no it didn't! I just wrote a whole paragraph of witty shizz on this comment form and it DISAPPEARS!?!
    It said stuff about the L&O theme song being turned into the CSI theme song in my head...
    It said that I yelled thru the phone to Moi not to call you fat...
    It said that I looked at flights to you again just to torture myself...
    It said that I loved you...
    ....and really, isn't that all that matters?
    Po: That's what you get for stealing a nacho! LMBO!!!

  4. Haha, what was the purpose of the fog machine? To set the mood?

  5. Haha I laughed when I read your story about go fish. I think my husband thought I was kinda nuts giggling away at my computer!


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