Tuesday, November 26, 2013

In desperate need of a cup of cheer...

So, the kids had a two hour delay for the fierce freezing rain (we did not get).  I was doing good.  Oh so good.

Back up...

Last night, since I've been working so much I just missed family time.  So with all of the jubilee I had left in my Lil black heart Po and I put up the tree and when the kids rolled in we decorated the tree and were supposed to have a movie night.  We did... but they fought and bugged and wouldn't clean up the trashed house they created themselves... blahh... we survived.

So this morning back to the two hour delay.  The house (still trashed mind you) had waited.  But that's okay, Pidg put on her big girl smile and tried to be happy happy Christmas is coming... regardless of the fact that the Christmas bonus from work had gone from good to nil.  It's okay, it's about the season, the family, the love, the Savior.  

Still being good.

Then it was time for Lil Man to get out to the bus in the plant mister rain that was not freezing.  He was irritated but that's fine too.  He's generally irritated when school is mentioned.  E takes him to the end of the driveway I tell him it's okay for Lil Man to hold the umbrella when they stop.  Evidently E didn't agree and somehow Lil Man is back at the door having been tackled by his brother and the umbrella looks like it was run over by the school bus.  (breathe Pidg)  

Nope... breathing did not help on this one.

Pidg fine... forget third person... I freaked out.  Teeth gritted and gnashing saying words under my breath so that the neighbors (8 streets away) didn't hear.  I come inside and suddenly the kitchen that was in all honestly TRASHED complete with dinner left out and wasted suddenly became this mountain of rage.  

I don't mind cleaning.  As a matter of fact it's therapy to me.  But in walks children slowly and quietly offering "now" to help.  (I like to refer to that as fear of the Mama)  

Too late.

I screamed and cried and snotted and spit.... as I cleaned the kitchen.

Don't they get it?  They're old enough.  I have two that have jobs and will be out of this house legally withing 6 months and the other a year and a half.  I have young adults not just Pidglet-children.  Why can't they see if I have to BEG then it's too late.  My worth, my esteem comes solely from them.  I give all and give strong so that they might learn lessons and become the people I know they can be.  But in those instances of disobedience, disregard and flat out chaos my heart sinks.  

I have no worth.  I am not worth cleaning the kitchen for.... folding the laundry I washed for... vacuuming up the dog fur for...

Do I know the answers to these questions?  Well, I know what you guys will say, especially the seasoned mothers.  It's normal.  They're kids.  They will see it one day.  

I don't care!  I don't need those comments or that reassurance that one day when they're out on their own they will have children of their own and call me and say thank you ... how did you do it Mama?  I appreciate everything you did for us as a single mom... always a single mom regardless if I was married.... 

By then I won't get those phone calls seeing as how I will have moved to a shanty in an undisclosed location that doesn't have cell phone service and all you eat is the vegetables from the garden I grow myself because there is no store with people on my small piece of land in no where.

Yah, I still love run-on sentences.  Almost as much as I like my shanty idea.

I just needed to vent.  To release to scream from my mountain of ruble ... thanks.

So now, I'm listening to my latest and greatest find from my eldest Pidglet Bailey - Ptxmas deluxe Christmas CD.  Yes, I'm cheating on Michael Buble.  But just a lil.  I'm smelling the season that smells just a bit like cinnamon mixed with a vacuum filter they got wet... I'm working on that.  Finishing the kitchen plus a second custom order for the Cottage and three rings to be mailed out... all on the only day off I got this week. (Yes, pity party still going strong.)

I see no need for punctuation or more tears or snotting.  I'm okay.  Worthless but okay.  wink

I'm searching for a cup of cheer, as usuall I'll make it myself.  That part I am thankful for.  My Mama taught me that.  Find the best in the situation and drink up.  (Not literally, although drinking is sounding better and better the more Motherhood stretches me)

Happy day, clean well, tolerate all and scream strong.  I think I got it all.

Over and laid out... with Christmas music filling these walls.

Much love and thankfulness you are tolerant of me.

loves,
Pidg

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

10 Reasons...

I just got home.  I'm safe.  No people. Just dogs.  Ahhh.... better...

For me and EVERYONE else who had to put up with me today.

Without further back peddling, hesitation, distraction and waylaying...

10 reasons why I'm a freak-show:

1.  I prefer to be honest when others do not.  I know, it sounds really good, but when you hear what I have to say humans generally a. don't like it or b. feel uncomfortable I just admitted out loud what they wouldn't dare say.

2.  I drink homemade salsa.

3.  I fweek out (yes that's how you spell it in this family) when someone tells me to do something I already know but have been pulled in 20 other directions.  If you come at me you might want to be right.  When I say fweek out, I mean my frustration/tolerance is at an all-time high/low and I can't look said person in the eye only because they will see my "I will kill you with my bare hands look" and that doesn't seem to make that person secure in their existence.  (weird right?)

4. I eat my body weight in Fritos and hummus....still.

5. When left to my own devices I do things like cut my own hair. 
(only about 3 or 4 inches...fine 6) but it's hair.  Funny thing about hair... it grows back.



6. When I try to show restraint and not voice my thoughts/opinions it feels awkward and generally I end up opening my mouth a bit wider than intended... I like to call it "a spell".

7. I have "spells" a lot lately.

8. I have a strong sense of justice and injustice...right and wrong... it doesn't fit in this world so much anymore.  So... I just don't fit in.

9. I eat butter cream icing with pickles.  Daddy always told me when I was younger he would know when I was pregnant when I started eating normal.  So no worries, Pidg is a-okay and without any Pidglets sprouting.

10.  I'm quitting my job and becoming a goat farmer.  I tried to give them notice and all and for some strange reason people just keep laughing at me.  I think that's a challenge, like they think I can't do it or something.  My top boss had the nerve to tell me in his southern drawl... "But there's no money in goat farming" to which I promptly responded... "Do I look like a girl that needs money?"  He grinned.  Evidently that's a yes.  


Don't worry, I'll prove them all wrong.  (smirk)

Happy day.  Mine should start in about 1 Dr. Pepper.

Over and out,


Friday, November 15, 2013

She escaped...

So, I've disappeared and reappeared blah... blahh... I'm here when I can be ya know?

So, today I was off work.  I was told on strict orders to do nothing but nothing.  (I'm sorry, who was he talking to?)  grin.  Well, I had to take Po to work, then I had to run a not so fun errand that put me dangerously close to Michael's.  What did I do?  Pshh... went to Michael's of course!

I had the most fun walking around by myself, smelling the season and looking at things as the ideas sprang like curls from my noggin.  I did get a few things and came in under budget.  Which of course is funny considering that I had no business being there at all so truly I came in way under "magic" budget.  Yes.

I went home and had a "coffee date" with my Nay on the phone and oh do I just love when we actually get time to catch up and have the same conversations we always do like they're new to us.  In the end, she told me to start blogging again.  She thinks, and it's slightly irritating that she's mostly always right, that I feel the way I do because of things that are happening because of not having my outlet - blogging.  Fine.

So here I am.

Wanna know what else I did that was so mischievous?  I went by myself mind you, to McDonald's got a large fry that was ridiculously perfectly cooked and inhaled them.  They spoke to me.  They understand me. Amen.  Possibly the highlight of the day.



Then... as I was mailing a sign I sold from the Cottage and heading towards Po for lunch I got a call from a friend that needed a lil help with baby and getting a few chores done and so off I headed.  It was nice AND I got my baby fix.  Always a plus!

Now, I'm home on my heating pad, contemplating blogging, writing, my shops and how long I can keep working without a plan in sight.  I'm strangely optimistic; mostly about eating the Rocky Road ice cream that's waiting for me in the freezer.  But a plan I will hatch.  

My Nay is right, I do need my outlet back.  I do need time for me and to accomplish the things that really matter, like Dr. Pepper... wait? What?!

Either way it was sooo much fun to escape and be with my Nay and help a friend and smell the Season. Oh... what will I do next.  Brush up on my writing perhaps?  Yes.

Over and out,


Thursday, October 3, 2013

A lil exhausted ...

I'm off today and can I just tell you I'm flippin' exhausted!  It used to bother me to know I had limits... (well honestly it still twinges a little) but admitting the above mentioned, I am a-okay.  Age?  Just stuff catching up?  I have no idea.  I took the weekend off per my two upper management because I was admittedly going down hill health wise.

Strangely, I rested.  



And here's some proof that I had to send to Nay that I was actually resting.  Yes, I'm always freezing so I am wearing my hoodie in the house.  The pidglets say I'm a thug... I'm cool wit dat yo.

And I do feel much better but I've spent the rest of the week trying to recover and get us back to where we need to be at work.  Fun stuff.  

So today, I thought I'd drop by and share a few "exhausted" family moments via text messages.  I only have a few out of a ton but they should brighten your day.  I've been collecting them as I remember... so that obviously translates to not many seeing as how we're relying on my memory.

This morning Moi told me she was texting her friend right before she went to bed.

Friend:  So, are you from Maryland?
Moi:  I used to go there about 9:30.
Friend: ?

She's so spent from Color guard practice, games competition then two Choir tryouts this week, seminary and good ole school... yah, she was tired.

Now here's one of my texts to Po that I've saved from Spring knowing it would need to make an appearance eventually... I really can't even tell you what I was going for.  Just a long day...


Here is one from me to Lil Red trying to make sure she and Busy were awake so I could pick them up in the morning from their dad's and take them to seminary.

Please understand I am waaaaaaay over due for an eye appointment and in the mornings my eyeballs are ridiculously impaired... to the point of I really can't read my own messages but I tell myself they're right.



Just so you know I was trying to say "You guys up?"  ... same same...


As you can see I recovered nicely...Yahhh... Sudsy a too?  I have know idea who she is either, but she needs to be up evidently. 

Can a person go from insomnia to narcolepsy?  I mean I come home and go into a coma lately... then ironically don't sleep through the night and wake up blind.  I'll be searching for a cure if you need me.

Happy almost weekend!


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A bunch of nothin'

I can't really call myself a blogger anymore... considering I can't seem to find time to write... or clean or exercise or breathe.  You know all the usual things we lack time for.

I'm off today but not as celebratory as I would like.  I have inventory Friday and had to move my schedule around to make sure I'm there to prep, count and enjoy the wonder of my pidglets complaining they didn't get to see me when they got off the bus before they went to their dad's house.

While I'm trying oh so hard to make things for the cottage.  And... I have been somewhat successful it's still not listed yet.



Yesterday was pretty much an awful day.  I went to the doctor last week and did get a "much better" bill of health; however I am definitely slowly but surely sliding a bit backwards.  I've been sick but functioning for a week now.  

Here's the frustration in that... I'm not "sick" anymore.  I don't have C-diff anymore and I'm taking care of my Celiac and reluctantly (at times I near the bakery) staying off of gluten.  So, I should be done right?  No more of this stuff.  Well, it shows you what I know.  (wink)

I asked the doctor, "Is this just permanent now?  Am I just fragile now?"

Fragile... eww... I shudder at that word when linking it to myself.  Pshhh... I learned I have limits but this is not cool.  Of course she gave me the doctor answer, "Well, only time will tell.  You might very well be facing this for the rest of your life.  Or, it just might take a lot longer than you anticipated."

Really?  I had to pay for that too.  

As you can see I've been in a funk for a bit.  I'm mad at my body, mad at the Pidglets, mad at people who make GF products so dang expensive and mad at the last king size snickers bar I ate that I use to keep my weight up... because I ate it and it's gone.

But I'm happy with Fall who is on it's way, happy with the two awful dogs that are curled up at the bottom of my bed.  I'm pleased with the pumpkins and birds that are sitting on my desk and the pumpkin spice Scentsy that is permeating through the house.  

Oh, and I'm mad no one in this house likes chili because I really want it but only make in "vat" size.  Yes, I can freeze it but that's not the point, they should love it.

Well, now that we've gotten all of the important stuff out of the way I'll leave you with one more thing that makes me actually keep my children.

This morning I had to run Po to work at 5am.  I had woken up with a terrible brain ache so I went to lay down before I had to take the girls to seminary at 6am.  Lil man had wandered into my bed after I had run out so I climbed in and grabbed a small stuffed dog he offered me. He is always very concerned that I have something to snuggle with.  He keeps a stash of stuffed animals on my side table that I have to choose from each night.

Next comes Moi... she slips in from the kitchen and crawls in behind Lil man.  Then through my door I see Lil Red sleepily appear  She walks around and looks in from the kitchen door, "Awww man.... Lucky." she says, then quietly places herself at the bottom of the bed.  We haven't done this in a while and it was nice and quite and relaxing .... until Busy comes in and starts being the mom telling us we're all going to be late.  No doubt she was only irritated because there wasn't room for her; which has never stopped her before.  

I asked Lil Red to go get Ethan up, which she strangely - promptly did.  I hear her in the next room waking him up as if she was a news reporter.  After a minute he's giggling and I hear Lil Red, "Back to you Clint..."

Yes, they still fought to and from seminary but it was that earlier moment I chose to think about all day.

Over and Out... 




Thursday, September 12, 2013

Checking in...

I have recently come to terms with a few things.  Mostly "closure" on a subject that I've known the answer to for years.  It bites.  It does.  But it is... what it is.

Know what's funny?  (not really funny, I have no idea why I always say that) But I.Am.Okay.

I am.



Sure life hands you lemons, heck life hands you rotten lemons but I'm used to those.  I can drink water, forget the lemonade.



What I'm saying is.  I'm built of strong stock.  I'm blessed with endurance. I prefer being positive so that after a while I might even believe all of the hearts and flowers I'm throwing out to the wind.

I have beautiful (horrible) amazing and most importantly phenomenally strong off spring.  My babies are my purpose and giving them my physical, and mental body, if you will, has been the biggest blessing of my life.



I have a great job with people I love.

I have free therapy in keeping up with my shops... yay for therapy! (wink)

I have food, shelter and lots of caffeine.

I. AM. LOVED.  



I have future plans of betterment for those I love back.



Gratitude... living simply allows me to see the little things a bit brighter.

Things are changing again, in a big way.  And I'm okay.  Sure I have "those" days.  Sure I'll have a lot more.  But today, I am thankful, and humbled, and smiling.

Have a great rest of the day, I just wanted to check in with the blog to see if it was still working.  (snicker)

Over and out,


Friday, September 6, 2013

Discombobbled...

Discombobbled... the state of being discombobulated but with a funnier twist as it rolls off your tongue.

He he.. (not to be mistaken with Hee hee)

So, I love work.  But I've been off for two days and I love being in the workshop pumping out crafts for the Cottage shop.

I love being home when the kids get home.  But being at work, I love doing something outside of the home where for the most part I accomplish much.

My body is holding up... most days.  It's those few days that worry me if I made the right decision in going back to work.

I love having a consistent paycheck.  My shops have picked up since going back to work.  (really?  yah.)

I have several other thoughts going off like fireworks in my head but those are combative and probably shouldn't be printed for all generations to come.  Do you have those deep dark thoughts that you keep hidden from the world?  Me, I'm one who's open and talks about everything.  Anyone who knows me thinks that.  But then again, they don't really know me.  It's that camouflage I put on each day; the one with the smile and a pep to my stride.  I'm tired.  I wish I knew the exact direction to take.  

I'm improving and each day I see something brighter even if it's just a stray piece of glitter.  I wish others could see the glitter.  I'm staying positive (notice how I didn't say "trying"... that's because I'm doing it... regardless)  But truth be told I have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm worried about a lot of things but I've decided those things are out of my control so I leave it to prayer and do the best that I can each day.  

I want to get back to writing... oh so bad.  I need to keep blogging to keep my thoughts in order.  Although I'm very well aware that those of you reading this are thinking, "Really?  This is in order?"  

I need to get back to goal setting.  I need to follow through.  I need to accomplish.  I need to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

I'm attempting to stifle my caffeine intake (yes, the ADHD is cruel and unyielding but it's something I want to do)  I'm trying to get rid of a few "crutches" and become the person that relies solely on Him and not on me, who is terribly unreliable when it comes to self-help.  That's not true, but I'm not as good at it as Him.

I want to set a better example.  I want my pidglets to follow their dreams.  I want to follow mine.  I'm not certain what those are yet.  Well, I'm not certain what the immediate ones are anyway.  You know, the ones that you can actually make happen right now.

I love fall.  It needs to come quickly.  I love my house when it's quiet.  I miss my pidglets when they're gone.

I probably should start with a lil caffeine opposed to zero.  

With paint on my hands and my piano playlist in the background I'm going back to enjoy my last day off this week creating autumn wonders.  The smell of ginger cookies from my Scentsy is filling the house.  Inspiration creeping through the corners of my craft room; I'll make a list.

I need a magic 8 ball.  That oughtta do it.  Answers from the purple waters of fate.  What should I do with my life?

There's more.  I can feel it.

Have a wondermous weekend!



Thursday, September 5, 2013

Three pieces of advice...


So Nay is giving me all that "sap" about her day doesn't seem complete without reading my blog. Pshh... well, she's the only one.  Truth be told I've felt a lil boring lately.  Work is work, I've been attacked by allergies kids are kids and Po... he's still just as "Po" as he's ever been.  

Not really much to report.  Not really a description to make my every day mundane "stuffs" sound funny or ridiculous.  

She says do "Blogtember" with me.  Uhhhggg.... my Nay!  Why must you require so much effort from me when I'm attempting to sound uninterested when really I'm lazy?  

Fine.

Today's prompt... "Pass on some useful information/advice you have learned"  

Fine, it didn't say those exact words but I'm again, too slothful to look back.

Advice... 

What always comes to mind is my full of wisdom and a few other things dear Mama.  We grew up with two phrases or pieces of steady, unwavering advice from Mom.

Save your money AND life is hard.

There done.  That's how I was raised.

Can the woman just become the President of the world or something?  I mean truly those are two of the most important guidelines I have ever come across.  And to think how blessed I was to have been brought up with those words of wisdom.

For how funny it is to Mama, she is dang right.  I mean "save your money".  Uhh... yahhh.  I mean does that really need explanation?  No.  But how many of us do it?  How many of us need to and needed to at a young age instead of learning the hard way when we're older and on our own where we can really mess up?

"Life is hard" Wow, that one brings tears to my eyes.  Oh how it would prick my irritation when I was a kid but oh how much fun it is to say to my children.  It is what it is peeps.

Life. Is. Hard.

It's better you know that straight out of the gate.  It's not hearts and flowers, it's hard.  But it's worth a lot of hard work to put all you've got into it.  I kind of like accomplishing each day and knowing I did it and it was hard.  In all seriousness, hard doesn't make room for excuses and I like that.   

The third piece of advice was from a Bishop of mine who quoted Clint Eastwood... "A man's gotta know his limitations"

In all of the super-mom, super-wife, cleaning, working, saving the day from dust, grime and whining... I have learned to say no.  I have learned (especially after last year) that I actually have limitations.  Something I really didn't see coming.  But that phrase has helped me in so many situations.  It doesn't mean quit or don't try or it's too hard.  It means know your capacity.  I got it.  

This message has been brought to you by Pidg of PidgApeg.com.  I'm leaving now to go stuff more pumpkins.  I think I've reached my limitations of lame for the day.

Over and here's to one more day off!











If you're interested in joining "Blogtember" click on the button below.  I'm interested... Just ask Nay... (wink)


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Rain-shine...

I'm an optimist.  I am a definite realist.  (I've just discovered I can't spell anything in those two very short sentences)

I try oh so very hard to keep my chin up and smile like I don't know any better when things are gray or stormy or just plain full of crud.  

But you know what really chaps my hide?  (No, I don't normally say that but it seemed fitting and a lil silly)

When others around you still pout and punk and fuss about how bad things are, people are or how awful the world is.  

DUDE!  Do you not see me spreading sunshine?  Do ya think I'm not aware of the actual situation?  

Of course I am that's the realist part.  But the sunshine; that's the optimist.

I know, I know, "don't hang out with people that are negative".  

But what if that negative is someone close to you?  What if that gray cloud is someone you can't change or help or leave?  Whether by birth or marriage or just however family comes to you, I'm not one to turn my back.  

It's funny when I think of this situation I see it as a cartoon.  I see me with crazy hair throwing rays of sun against a glass window where the other is allowing lightning bolts to fall out of their pocket.  The window being the barrier between the two views.

I'm sick today.  I never get sick.  Allergies attacked.  I'm telling you one leaf falls off the tree and ragweed starts chasing me down.  But then I had to be in a cooler/freezer all day so I may as well have been barefoot in the rain. 

So I'm sick.  My bad.  I promised all I would watch myself when I went back to work and take care of my body so today, on my day off, I'm resting.  (And possibly ranting)  But I'm being good.  Weird right?

The only problem, I realize now, is when I slow down I have too much time to think.  So I'll stuff pumpkins instead.  

Irritating or not, I will continue to see the brighter side.  And if I find there isn't one I'll make one out of the lesser of two crappy situations.  With all of my faults, I'd rather be me than them.  (I'm way more entertaining wink)

I imagine the other will continue to spread rain.  So we'll keep this lil weather pattern of "rain-shine" and I will still find time to smell the wild flowers.  One day, maybe, being negative or pessimistic or just plain cranky will get old.

I have a lot to be grateful for.  (Tissue and warm drinks being top of the list right now)  I think I'll keep on keepin' on the way I am.  It suits me just fine.

Over and out,


Friday, August 23, 2013

I was wondering...

Seriously, it's Friday.  I'm excited.  Really I have no idea why because I always work on the weekends so my "Friday" never really comes.  But I do love working and Friday means it's closer to Monday which is when my pidglets go back to school and I think we all know how I feel about that. (wink)

So I have zero direction in this post; strange, I know.  But I felt like sitting here and "scribbling" a few lines anyway.  I wonder what the attraction is to blogging?  I mean I've delved into why I blog and what it does for me but what is that drive you have that makes you sit in front of your keyboard and plug away at those lil squares even when you have nothing to say?  

I also was wondering why seat belts are enforced and yet it's still legal to sit in the bed of a pick-up truck.

Why is broccoli so delicious and yet every time I cook it the kitchen smells like fart?

Why is "every time" not one word?  I think it is... spell check just missed one I'm certain.

Why does everyone say they hate summer but don't want fall to come...because they know that winter follows and then spring (that only lasts about a week and half here) then it goes straight to summer... what season do they like?

So when I took the girls to get their nails done yesterday the boys and I headed over to the sports store just for kicks, then we went shopping for E to get a few new shirts.  Rue 21 always has clearance stuff so I thought I'd check out some stuff on the el-cheapo wracks for some work shirts for me since I trash everything.  I told Lil Man to look for anything dark blue.  He grabbed more shirts faster than I could blink and most were things I wouldn't let my daughters wear but they were dark blue and that was the point now wasn't it?  

He snatched up a sweater and held it up, "Mama!  This is blue!"
The look on my face must have clued him in as he took another gander at the crop top that wouldn't have covered him.  He looked almost shocked and yelled, "Ahh!  It's a belly shirt!" then sent it flying across the store.

Yes, I bribed him with candy and led him through the later part of the 15 minute shopping excursion with lil fake bottles of soda filled with fuzzy/funky treat-like nuggets of sugar.

In all of my woes about the pidglets being home for summer... I find myself sitting on my bed plugging away at this random lil post while 3 of them lay across my bed and Po's chair doing whateves and tossing out bits of quizzical conversation.  I will miss this.  I will miss it someday altogether when they sprout up and plant roots of their own.  Because of that, I will be sure to miss them on Monday when they leave for school.

Glutton for punishment, I know.  But I had these wonders of muck on purpose and I wouldn't change a thing about all that they have taught me.

Off to the weekend I guess.  I hope yours is wondermous.

Out and over and chasing my tail,



Thursday, August 22, 2013

Here's to school...

Whew... I think I'll just vent today.

Let's put it this way; work is a break for me.  Oh the kids.... I am so spent right now I'm worried that Monday is too late for school to start.  I'm thinking about buying myself flowers to celebrate the wonderful occasion of that blissful thing called school to start on the 26th.  Bad mom?  Pshhh...yah.  And I am sooooo okay with that title.

What I have done in 5 months of being home "healing" they have undone in the first week I went back to work.  My house is trashed, they fight like well, sisters...even the boys.  They think they all do "too much".  Which translates in reality to ... playing games or watching TV on their ipod or my computer.  

You do remember I don't have cable/tv right?  I chose that route because there was too much media in my house.  So they've gotten around it.  (I'm so slow.)  When they come home from their dad's tomorrow there will be hidden somewhere deep within the realm of my home computers, Nooks and the ipod will be confiscated at the door.  OH the evil that is Mom!  (insert evil laugh here)

Today I had one day off.  I call it one day off because my other day is Sunday which is church and family day which means more work that day than if I had gone into the job that actually pays me.  So back to my one day.... I picked them up from their dad's so the girls could get their nails done.  (they paid for it) picked up some school clothes for E, school supplies for all of them, more prescriptions than school supplies and a last minute top for Lil Red that she just "had to have".  

Bought them lunch in the middle of it all and while I was in line for the scripts turned to see one of my beloved heathens smack the other with a pillow.  I swiftly turned, crawled under the line thingy-do that Lil Man had earlier released to almost knock down the pole and gathered the 4 of them before me.  In my quite "I might take your life voice" I explained how they need to act and that I am not embarrassed if I have to go "crazy Mom" in my place of work.  With a calm breath I made them stand where I could see them and got back in line again.

Yes, the 4 I had with me are 9,12, 13 and 16.  The eldest two being the issue.  Did I mention I love being a mother?  Oh I do, I do.  It's right up there with plunging the toilet and clipping the dogs nails.  I love it....

Now, I have dropped the kids back off at their dad's, sent Po back to work after his lunch and I am sitting in a quiet home wishing I could just lay out on the bed.  But instead, I think I'll turn on the cinnamon Sentsy and make stuffed pumpkins for the shop.  Oh, that gets me giddy.  

Tomorrow when the varmints come home.  I'll be ready.  While, in all honesty, I do love those pidglets I understand the phrase "dog days of summer" actually came from a mom when her kids were out of school.  Because I feel just exactly like that right about now; a dog.  School is good.  Yes, I am actually grinning as I type this.  

Here's to all of the children getting somewhat educated!  Here's to that bright yellow vehicle-o-wonder that picks up the boys and the me that will be dropping off my 3 girls in high school to an early morning seminary class EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  before school.  Haha.... I love being a Mom.

Happy almost Monday!


Thursday, August 15, 2013

What I've learned...

Do you ever put restrictions on yourself and then wonder why the heck you did that?

I do.  All.The.Time.

For instance I like to blog in the early morning or late at night.  Generally this is because the pidglets are not awake.  I like to do my thing with minimal interruption then publish, post my link on FB, Twitter and Instagram if I can figure it out again... which translates text Nay and say huh?

Well that's not convenient anymore after going back to work.  I'm just too busy sitting on my heating pad and falling slowly sideways until my face is crumpled up with three chins smothered on Po's side of the bed.

So... I don't blog.

That's stupid.  I mean I like to do things on my time but there just isn't a my time anymore.(Not since 1992 when my first daughter was born) 

So I'm just going to sit here and do it now.  Because then I've done it.

I do things like, not work on my seasonal line for The Cottage because I ground myself until my chores are done.  The chores my children are all old enough and capable enough to do.  But I'm frustrated and tired so I end up with arguing teenagers and a shop that's neglected when I should have just sat down and worked.  

I think about Friday funnies as I hear them throughout the week and tell myself I'll remember them.  Which we all know to be a lie; hence no Friday funnies.  I could  have just written them down.

I'm getting better at managing. Or starting over anyway. People have always asked me "how do you do it?" The oldest of 6 kids is getting married October 25th I still have 5 kids at home. I work full time and have 3 shops on Etsy.  My response has always been, "It's not graceful."

Wow... just wow.  Is that true.

I go to work now with my hair piled up on my head like a rats nest and smile like I don't know any better. I'm starting to allow myself those lil errors and just do the best that I can. Having lost control of what my body does or doesn't do has definitely given me a new perspective.

I can hear Lil Red hollering right now in my mind.. "yolo!"  You only live once.

Life is too short for grounding yourself.
There's never enough time and it will never "be all done."
I don't feel the need much to sweat the little things.
I enjoy the work I put into things even if there is not much appreciation in it.

I mean really, after I work all day on my feet, come home to a trashed house with the villans lying on the couch. I make a wonderful dinner and everyone leaves the table when they're done eating leaving me to do the dishes.. I am just thankful for the opportunity to serve.  HA! Lies. That still bugs the crud out of me.  

But the lil things I usually find time to brush off.

The other night my girls got into a rip roaring fight.  They don't happen often but when they do I usually let them ride it out.  Well, when Lil Red is sitting next to me taunting Moi on the end of the bed and then Moi bates Lil Red into insulting her again so of course she rises to the occasion... you get a small petite daughter-o-mine lunging across the bed landing on said taller child and me and the box of cereal I'm munching on goes flying.  It's simple math really.

Moi punches Red and Lil Red kicks her off as Moi goes flying backwards off the bed landing on the floor below Po and Busy stands up and yells "It's nice to be back home!" (she just got back from their cousins wedding in Washington state)

I disarm Lil Red in a headlock to get Moi out with her life but Lil Red is now bigger than me (thankfully I'm stronger) so I switch positions locking both of her arms behind her as she pushes my bed across the floor knocking over my unstable side table and Po just sits there bemused. (Poor Po)  Moi exits the room as I calm Red down and I get her some Motrin. Yah... that's the product of my gene pool.  They're Mama's girls.

While it sounds horrible it's kind of an annual thing, no worries.  We're all tired, cranky and broken.

Schedules change.
Life tips unevenly.
Sleep doesn't visit when it should.
Smiles creep back slowly and certainly.



My first instinct is always to place the problems of the world on myself but this time I didn't.  I'm a good mom.  I make mistakes; I'm very consistent. wink.  But we are who we are and we hopefully learn along the way.

What I've learned.  Do what I want/need to do when I have the time.  Girls need more space to breathe when tension is high.  A messy house can always be fixed...eventually.  And it's funny when Berry Berry Kix fly off your bedspread onto the hardwood floor in the middle of the night when you roll over.

I'll blog sporadically.  I'll post when I think about it.  I'll remove the listing I had taken out for selling my children in the classifieds.

I'm tired.  I'm happy.  I need more protein.

Amen.

Over and out of random thoughts.



Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Two days in a row...

So lately I've been inconsistent to say the least on blogging so I'm just going to try and sneak lil snippets in when I get the chance.. like now.

This week it's been raining on and off.  The other day every time I went out on break or lunch or my last break it began pouring rain.  It was soaking through my pants big time and you could even see my Halloween socks through my pants.  Those good looking knee highs.  I threatened Po (because he forgot to grab the umbrella) that I would hurt him somethin' fierce if my bum got soaked and you could see my draws through my pants but thankfully (for him) it somehow missed that area.  Whew... needless to say I looked like a wet dog the rest of the day.

Today, I was the freight master!  I worked so much freight frozen and cooler and organized and it was great I told my Nay I felt like greatness today.  Then this, cute as a button, lil girl came over to where I was stocking and said something I didn't understand she looks at her mom and says, "Is her a lady?"

Bwahahahahaha!  The mom looked embarrassed and said, "Oh she's a toddler..."

I laughed and told the lil girl, "Its alright sweets I don't look much like a lady today."  Then I looked at the mom and said, "I have teenagers that still say silly things out loud so don't feel bad."

I told my Nay, "I guess greatness doesn't look that good on me."

Hanna had a cut on her finger and asked me for a band aid.  She sat next to me on the bed then said abruptly, "What?!  How did I?..."

I looked over and she had put the band aid on the wrong finger.  Yep, her mother's daughter...

I came into work this morning and proudly announced I was trying to cut back on my caffeine intake. I think the two women I work with looked leery now that I look back.  Everyone knows I use the caffeine stimulant as a "bring my down" tool so I don't have to be medicated for ADHD.  Needless to say Po brought me a coffee on break.  I think the girls were ready to poke my eyeballs out.

Now, I'm sitting on my heating pad, due to the "greatness" and thinking about what I get to do tomorrow.  I'm loving being back at work still.  I cooked a garlic roast overnight and all day and then made mashed potatoes from scratch and then Po, Moi and I quietly ate in the kitchen while the other lil thugs watched a movie.  A quiet dinner was the least we all deserved.  Yes, the rest of the pidglets are still mad at me.  (snicker)

I'll probably fall over any minute.

Loves and hugs over and out... don't let the bed bugs bite and all that jazz.

Oh and P.S.  Good morning!

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Monday, August 12, 2013

Just checking in..


So... it's me you know Pidg.  Yah, I've fallen off the blogging map again.  It happens.

But guess why?  Well, this isn't really totally why, some of it was zero inspiration but lately it's because I went back to work!

Yup, I sure did.  I got a call from the store manager and he lured me back with my baby... the department that no one wants that I absolutely adore!  I said yes and am two weeks back and feeling pretty dang good so far.  Yay, my body has stopped rejecting me for the most part!

I have the best crew evah and we're pulling things back together and it's just been wondermous. Now home on the other hand; wow.  It's amazing what the pidglets can undo in one week that took me 5 months to do.  Messy house, chores and schedule out of whack but it's okay not because I'm forgiving and tolerant but because they go back to school in 2 weeks!  Patience has never been my virtue but seeing the horizon definitely is... giggle.

I have been documenting stuff though so I'll have some up coming posts of re-caps that I'll be posting once I find a minute to sit down (on my heating pad) soon.

I have a set schedule, school is coming back and things are looking up.  I just need to get aclimated again so as usual, give me time.  I'm slow ya know.  wink

We had dinner at Mama and Daddy's house today and Mama made gluten free fried chicken.  Yes, I was in heaven.  I haven't had gravy since mid-last year because I'm too lazy to make a batch from scratch for myself so when she made it today I am ashamed to tell you I ate it by the spoonful. I won't tell you however how many spoonfuls I ate but I will tell you that first part is a lie. I am NOT ashamed it was amazing!

I texted my Nay a lil today and she sent me a "good morning" video so I thought it brilliant to send her a "good afternoon" one back.  Of course ding dong over here who is super great (not) with anything electronic couldn't figure out how to turn the video off when I was done so she saw that too.  Stay classy Pidg.

Hey get this since I've started work my shops have picked up.. go figure.  I sold 7 birds this week and 3 of them custom.  I can do both...right?  The only thing I would hate is if my real life job didn't allow me to continue with my shops and so far I think it's going to work out so I'm really excited.

Well, I just wanted to say hey and tell you guys that I'll be back.  I always come back right?

I miss you guys to pieces!

Over and out

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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Just a quick hello...

Oh what to blog...what to blog.

Sometimes does your head feel so full you don't know where to start?  Well, yah, that's me everyday but lately it's really full.  Questions, doubts, wants for things you used to be... not failing, stop flailing, recapturing that you that was stronger.

The woman who did it all and did it well...not gracefully mind you; but she's never graded on appearance.

Things are in the works, plans are being made.  Life is turning that corner again.   I think it's alright though.

I did the lawn yesterday and it was soooo long because of all the rain we've had.  When it's long the only thing horrible is that I have to rake.  Raking is worse than the push mowing.  Raking is my ultimate loathe.

It tried to kill me.

It almost won.  I told the kids if they look outside and see me lying face down run quick with the water and splash it on my face.  If I don't respond... someone else needs to make dinner.

IT. WAS. SO. HUMID.

I find I am still a San Diego girl through and through... humidity... not for me.

So what else can I say randomly?  Oh, Nay and I are planning a trip to Hawaii.  It's not real of course but to us it is.  We thought it would be a nice place to meet for the first time.  We're really excited.  Now all we need is for one of us to get rich.  It's in the works.

Okay, just a quick check in to say hello and that I haven't forgotten you.  I'll be in the workshop today... got some jewelry plans and a new line for the Cottage to FINALLY introduce.  Wish me luck.

Over and out.

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Monday, July 15, 2013

A glance down memory lane...

The other day I just started flooding with sweet and silly memories of the kids as we were growing up.  I remembered this time when we lived in Maryland.  I would always wake up between 2 and 3am and go out on my deck just to think for a bit.

Well this morning it was snowing.  The flakes were falling lightly and all of the deck and railings were covered in this blissfully white glittery perfectly piled snow.  Bailey happened to wander into the kitchen and I told her she had to come out and touch it.  She was about 14 at the time.  She looked to me sleepily and pointed out that she didn't have any shoes on.
"It's okay," I reassured her, "I'll give you a piggy back ride."
She grinned in knowing that she would have to pacify me or I wouldn't be able to let it go.  She hopped on my back and I slowly steadily moved towards the door which was only about 3 feet from the outside railing.

Now, me being me, incredibly smart and always thinking ahead didn't ponder the possible ice build up on the deck.  I took one step outside and we both wiped out on the ground onto the cold, icy deck.  Good times, me and Bai... good times.

Then I remembered when Ethan was about 3 years old I had pulled out a package of frozen hot dogs and placed them on the counter.  A minute later he was crying from the kitchen and as I ran in there he was holding his eye.  I pried his chunky, tubby Bubba hands from his face but he kept his eye squinted tightly closed.  I then attacked him further.

I questioned him on what happened... "Did you drop the hot dogs on your face Bubs?  Did you hurt your eye with the hot dogs?  Did you poke your eye?  Were you trying to grab the hot dogs and they slipped?  What happened Lil E?"....

I couldn't see anything but an hour later he was still holding it and not allowing me to near it.  I took him straight into the doctor.  On the way home after finding out his eye was alright and that he must have just scratched it and that an eye patch might help so he doesn't bother it further he was really frustrated with me and my prodding.

I decided to take him to 7-11 to grab a treat.  He was so mad at me for not letting it go.  I wanted/needed to know what happened.  He continued to slap me away when I tried to touch it and this normally sweet-tempered child would not stop yelling back at me when questioned.  So I stopped...kind of.

As we were leaving 7-11 with slurpee in hand I casually (or so I thought) looked over at him once he had lowered his hand.  He hollered back, "Keep your eyes on da wode!"

We still say it like that randomly when he's in the car.

Another time I was cleaning out the garage and Hanna got into a box of random clothing.  When she was younger she was the thinnest, lankiest thing you've ever seen.  I turned to see her wearing clunky shoes with crew socks, a bathing suit and tights over her head.  Before I could stop her she grabbed a plastic leg from a play table and began chasing a few boys down the street on their bikes.  I imagine those boys remember that as well to this day.  I need to find the pictures she posed so proudly in.  And the family pics we took where my beautiful Lil Red put flowers up her nose.  Perfect.

Then there was the time when Busy was maybe 6.  I used to hold craft workshops where others would pay a small fee and walk away with an awesome completed project they had assembled with kits I had put together.  Girl time and the kids would play it was quite fun really.  Well, I was showing one of my customer/friends my "new" at the time Sizzix die cut machine.  It had a lever you pulled down to press the die into the material and bam out pops a paper piecing or fabric or what have you.  So our lil girls, Busy and Molly were hanging out at the time.  They of course wanted to try it.  So I walked Molly through it and she cut out a darling little shape.  I walk Busy through it and somehow she gets the handle to gain enough tension to where the thing pops back and gives her a black eye.  She is so my daughter...what can I tell you.

My mind then traveled to the time Lil Man decided to pee across the room while yelling, "Dragon Fire!"  Or the first time Po watched Lil Man and Ethan while the girls and I ran out to find shirts and flip-flops for mine and Po's wedding.  He, like a good up and coming step-dad, put Lil Man in the tub and turned to see him pulling out a turd the size of Nebraska and placing it on the side of the tub.  He said it looked like a snake.

Ohmygosh, I love being a mom... I do.

Then I thought back and remembered lil Moi.  That child was born so differently than the others.  All of my pidglets have such different personalities and traits but as a whole you KNOW they're related.  I love the diversity and seeing pieces of my different personalities pop out at times.  She was a stubborn thing; still is.  When she was little she refused to say the word "Yes."  I would do all that I could think of but that child would not do it. I started to really wonder if she understood the words yes and no and questioned if she really just didn't grasp when to say yes.  Finally, one day I looked to her and said, "Mo, you want some icee cream?"
she looked to me smirked and said, "No" as she nodded her head yes.

Enough said...

Moi was also the silent instigator.  I kid you not when she was a baby she would grin every time Bailey would get in trouble.  One day we were driving down the road and I had the two girls in the back seat.  Bailey let out this excruciatingly loud scream and I looked in the rear view mirror just in time to see Moi pulling Bailey's hair.  Moi looked up with a handful of her sister's hair and said with an evil grin, "Hair..."

Oh, the joys of being a mother.  I love looking back at the silly, awful and ridiculously fun moments.  Thanks for taking a walk down memory lane.  I'm smiling again.

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Friday, July 12, 2013

Friday Funnies...

Okay, these are a few funnies from weeks ago I collected before I fell into that "hole" of mine...

So Hanna had her friend over to spend the night and all of us girls were hanging out in the room talking gossip because we totally do that because everyone knows that's a rule to sleep overs and at one point I said Hanna did something and she responded with

"Hey, that's just Bull monag-alog-alee"

I would like to introduce you to my new favorite word.  Oh, I was dying... it just rolls right off your tongue!

Then I was taking Ethan to basketball camp and Hanna had been going with us to watch but this morning it was just me and E.  As we're driving he said, "Mom, can you drive like a grandma today?"

That's his way of saying he wants to spend more time with me.  Sweet boy, love that kid.

Now these are from this week.  The time frame really doesn't matter it's just some days I feel the need to include you in the moment by moment all important happenings.... yah.

I can hear the 3 girl pidglets in the kitchen talking as I'm in my craft room (not crafting)

Hanna:  "This is what you wear?"
Moi:  "Yah..."
Hanna:  "Okay... I'm going to have to let you use mine."  spoken in such a seriously worried and concerned tone.
Me:  "Moi, what's she talking about?"
Moi walks in to my room all serious, "I don't know.  She saw my mascara and took pity on me. It's a wonder my eyelashes look like Spongebob."

Busy was with me in the kitchen as I folded laundry.  Yes, that's where I fold laundry, right after I clean off the dried breakfast they've left on the table.  Moi and Hanna came in and were talking and somehow got onto the subject of sharing underwear (which I call 'draws' in this family)

Moi:  "I did all of my laundry yesterday and there wasn't one single pair of draws in my first load.  Turns out they were all in the second load."
Busy: "I hate it when someone else uses my draws... I used to always look at Hanna and I could tell she's wearing mine from the waistband."
Hanna:  "Hey, (laughter) I don't do that anymore."
Busy:  "Yah, and I'm glad.  I can't help it  - it's something about underwear.  I mean it doesn't matter how many times you wash it; it still has ghosts from the past."


Moi and I went thrifting on Thursday and I would love to tell you about our finds and I will but not just yet... there's a specific thing we were searching for and found it and were oh so excited.  But it's a to-prise so I can't tell you yet in case that someone reads this.  Anyway, there used to be this amazing vintage resale clothing store named "Two Chicks"  Loved it!  Well, they closed down and were replaced by another clothing resale shop that looks pretty neat but we haven't ventured there just yet.  As we passed the quaint little corner shop Moi says, "My friend Rachel loved Two Cheeks..."
I looked to her with a grin and pointed to my butt... "You mean these two cheeks?"

Ethan was playing on my phone yesterday and an email popped up.  "Linked in update."
Ethan:  "Hey mom, you have an email from Link N' Dingle."

Thanks son.

The missionaries came over for dinner on Wednesday and in our church they just go by Elder (last name) so we always play the guess my first name game because we're easily entertained.  We all get one guess then if no one gets it they have to give us their first initial.  So the first Elder says, "My first letter is J."
Well, for some reason we must have been particularly rusty at the game because with many hints and ridiculous guesses we were still stumped.  He then says, "It's a name in the scriptures."
Ethan snaps his fingers, "Hey, doesn't Lucifer start with a J?'
After the shock of my jaw dropping on how on earth Lucifer would start with J I wailed in laughter and said "Yes E, and his parents decided after all of the people in the scriptures they would name their son after SATAN!"

Then Lil Man yells out, "Yah Bubba, his name is Jusifer!"

Oh, my side still hurts from that.  Incidentally, they didn't name him after the adversary... good job mom and dad.  (wink)

Okay, that's all I've got for today.  With the kids home and out of school my work has suffered.. so has my sanity.  (snicker)  Truth be told it's been nice spending every second of the day together... I'm just more tired now than when I worked.  But the advantage is I have time to write down their funnies.  Being there when they create them is even more worth it.

Happy weekend friends.


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Thursday, July 11, 2013

Today, I'm human...

Did you miss me?  Never mind don't answer that.

So I read my Nay's blog post today and it made me put my big girl pants on and write.

I'm off again.  I'm sitting in a deep hole I can't seem to dig myself out of.  I mean, I can, I will I always do.  It's just been a little harder lately.  When I feel a bit stabbed in the heart from others around me I... I... always pick myself up.  But this time, it's been a struggle.  Because the behavior around me doesn't change?  Because while I struggle to tell myself it's me who controls me but the environment isn't altering... it's just been more of a painstakingly harder travel this time.

It's a reminder that I'm still not right.  That bothers me.

Nay was giving me a pep talk last night because strangely but so typically really, we've been struggling with the same problem 3000 miles away from each other.  It's funny how a friendship can stretch so far and so fast we feel each other in one single, zippity quick instance.

Feeling the same funk... me and my Nay.

Pep talk?  Oh yah.  Self-appreciation, self-love.. take away the self-loathing.  That's the one.  While we suffer from taking care of others and forgetting we're the strongest individuals we know.  So yah... I need to remember.  I kind of like me.

She posted this morning about her feelings and a picture of a lovely bouquet of flowers she received from loved ones.  It reminded me of those flowers I received for Mother's day.  They were so beautiful.

Roses, which I do love, don't get me wrong - but it was the small white and purple wild flowers that get me.  I love wild flowers and baby's breath and they were nestled in a white pitcher.  I collect white pitchers.  I have them sitting in my long kitchen window.  That mattered.  The simple white pitcher to add to my collection.  But then, when questioned it turns out the pitcher was something the flower-shop lady chose.  Not the loved one.  Truth be told I would have lied to me and told me, "Yah, I chose that knowing you would love it."

Shoot me.

It kind of hurt my feelings.  The arrangement wasn't chosen, just, "Hey send flowers on this day.  Here's my credit card number."

Don't lecture me, don't think I'm not appreciating the thought.  Please don't.

The point being I quickly turned my thoughts to this.  I would have chosen every flower that went into that arrangement.  I as a giver of a bouquet would have remembered that she collects white pitchers and included it deliberately; not just because I used to work in a flower shop 100 years ago and loved it.  I would have done it because that's me; the caregiver.  The thoughtful, (yet awful) mother of all.  And I am, just a little, glad to be me.

I struggle with the phrase, "It sucks to be me" lately when I drop a container of food on the floor, or try to cheer up a non-willing participant.  When I know someones had a horribly hard day so I greet their return with a smile and a cheerful word and they silently, grudgingly walk past me into the house.

That phrase, "It sucks to be me sometimes" must stop.

Actually, I'd rather be me... even look like me...with the flaws, the failures the messed up health and physical/mental crap I keep going through.  I kind of like me.

I'm frustrated with me getting better and healing then a day later I get sick for 3 days straight.  I don't like going backwards.  But it's me.  It's my lot right now.

I get irritated with trying to help lift up others who don't try to lift up themselves.  But I do it, because it's still what they need and helping others is really where my happiness comes from.

I wasn't going to share this.  That's why I haven't blogged.  I'm one of those people, blogger or not, that you can talk to and "know" and then something happens and you realize you never really knew me at all.  I talk about anything, everything, but never really allow you inside.  Self-preservation.  It's all I know - survival.

When I left in a quick flight escape with my children from Mr. B I had probably one of my closest friends at the time tell me how hurt she was because she didn't even know I had marital problems.

See, that's how I am.

But today, I thought I might put it out there.  Share some real feeling of inadequacy that I have, the failed attempts of a caregiver that relies so deeply on taking care of others for her own happiness.

Today, I thought I might just try being human.  Now, I think I will continue the journey of emotional ups and downs of just being human.  You don't have to read it.  Most won't and I'm okay with that.  But one day when my pidglets look back on this as they become older they too just might look back and say, "Hey, Mama was human too."

I guess it is okay.

So with my pep talk from Nay I take away this.  I am kind of amazing.  I am tolerant and kind.  I will love regardless of being loved.  And I will include me in that statement.  My contradicting personality traits were not a mistake.  I have purpose and I have a lot to share.

Grabbing a shovel I'll build steps out of my lil dark and damp hole.  The sunlight is never very far away if you keep looking upward.

Love yourself, forgive yourself.  Your shortcomings most likely are planted internally from others around you that might just not be happy with themselves.  So on my way up those stairs of dirt I dig, I'll uproot those as well.

Today, I'm human.  Weird right?

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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Same Difference ... not this week


So, Nay and I decided to give "Same Difference" post a rest this week. We're just hammered this week with life, kids and life...But get this.  We were texting back and forth last night and discovered...

Her daughter is getting her braces on TODAY.  My daughter Busy is getting her braces on TODAY. Both have to wear the top braces for a year before they put on the bottom set.  Weird.

Same... but different.

Yah, I'm tired.  But how weird/cool is that?  Busy said, "Hey, we're twinning!"

Have a good one ... you know where Nay and I will be.

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Monday, June 24, 2013

Fireflies...

Once again not much to say.  Friday funnies didn't have enough to stand on it's own.  It was more Friday than funnies so I held off until this week.

Last night Busy and I were on our way home at dusk and you could see the fireflies lighting up the trees, the ditch, the driveways as we drove down our country-esk road.  As soon as we got inside the boys were on it.  They had seen them too, jumping out like little torches on the yard and edge of the woods that boarder our homestead.

So of course my 3 youngest pidglets asked, "Can we go catch 'em?"

I loaded them up, each with a mason jar with the deal being we release them before the night gets late.  I listened on the front porch as their (not so quiet) voices echoed through the woods and they coached each other on the lightening bug's locations; the dark closing in.

A few minutes later the moon had laid it's claim on the night's sky and my 9, 12 and 13 year old pidglets were gathered around the kitchen table hollering for me to come admire their bounty.  We turned off the lights in the kitchen and giggled around the table as the fluorescent bugs flashed and glittered the dark room.  A bit after that they were once again releasing them back to their natural habitat; the humid night air.

It's times like this when I love to watch my babies.  It's times like this when I realize we're not growing too fast.  I love to watch them still appreciate the small things, let go of the worries of the world and simplify; enjoying the grand luxury of beauty Heavenly Father has created for us.

Fireflies; easily one of the best memories of any one's southern childhood days... right along side with honeysuckles and playing outside until 9pm on a sticky Summer night.

I love ... I just love.  Today as they ramble and rumble through this house I will still be grinning at the light-less kitchen as lightening bugs sprinkled their fluttering lights from hand held jars - reminding me in this life; we are right where we need to be.

Have a wonderful week.

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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Just stuff...


Today Busy headed out to beehive camp.  It's a church camp with the 12 and 13 year old girls.  My mom went with her because she's one of the young women's leaders.

They were so cute.  Mama bought them matching hats and PJ's because she's just so cute like that.  On the way Busy and I were texting back and forth teaching Mama Jode about Busy's glucagon (an emergency shot you have to give Busy in the case of a Diabetic reaction that she's not breathing or unconscious  Basically a shot she won't be able to administer to herself)

Busy was texting me saying, "Okay, I told MMJ how to do it and when to use it and what the signs are and she repeated everything back to me."

Oh what a lil grown up that Busy is.  I love that they're getting to share this time together.  I remember when my Mama and I went back when I was in youth.  Most girls were like, ughh my mom is here and I was like...  HEY! MY MOM IS HERE!!!! YAY!

It got me to thinking when I was texting Nay this morning how great it would be if she and I could go to camp together.  But our camp would be on a ranch, with a lake, without mosquitoes, with an air conditioned lodge... you know those camps.  (wink)

Don't worry Nay, I'll get the matching PJs and hats!

I'm creepily sitting in my dark bedroom because Po is still sleeping. He doesn't have to work until 11am today and he's been workin a 5am-2pm shift all week.  In the most simple terms: Po is NOT a morning person.  He's been like a lil zombie this week.

I was dying the other night.  I was playing Minecraft on my PC and he was playing on his Xbox and he went into this other world and died and lost everything.  Our strategies our different and I wouldn't have done it the way he did, therefore, I would not have lost everything because I am a hoarder on games like this and would not have risked loosing all of my stuff but that's neither here nor there...  So he died.

Oh my gosh, that man was so mad.  He was throwing this lil boy fit.  I was texting Nay at the time and totally received the "bad wife" award because I was giving her the play-by-play of what he was doing and saying because it was so hilarious.

I finally looked at him and spoke in my Mom voice, "I think it's time for you to go to bed."

And he promptly did, without words.  It's funny to me how much sleep he needs and how little I do.  I think it's so I can always be up for these moments of "all" of my children when they're in need of a "go to bed" order.

Okay, Moi and her friend are sleeping, the dogs have been out (almost pulling me off the porch because of a bunny) the other kids are at their dad's and so far all is okay with the world.

Not much to say, just thought I'd babble a lil and tell you guys to have a great Thursday, not Friday mind you.

I'll be honest, I'll probably be digging out a mine on my game until Po wakes up and I can turn on the lights.  Poor me... (giggle)

Over and out,
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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Same Difference... What to do when you don't know what to blog about...

It's Wednesday, "Same Difference" Day with Nay over at Coffee-n-ink.  Same idea, two different posts.  I will start off by saying with confidence, her post will be better and no, you will not hurt my feelings if you cut to the chase and click on her link now.  That will be your only warning.

I'm button-less today because I "still" haven't put Word or pictures on this computer.  Procrastinating at it's finest. In the spirit of this post I felt furthering my lack of proficiency would really drive home the point.  Being unprepared has it's requirements.

What to do when you don't know what to blog about:

First and foremost create a long title so that your readers are immediately distracted with what you may or may not be writing about.  When a long title is involved it allows your readers to get bored instantly so that their expectations are low and don't expect much from your post.

Pretend to clean your house.  I wouldn't go as far as to say clean your house because that would be over and above and no one likes an over-achiever, especially when they're procrastinating.

Read a box of kid's cereal.  Often there are mazes or word searches allowing you to find new words to inspire your writing.  Crunchy, honey, nutty, Cap'n are always good idea starters for posting on things no one  but you might care about.

Annoy your children.  When you're doing something fun it always inspires new ideas and creates a bond with your readers as they listen to your daily routines.  If you have older children; as you frustrate them you might just get lucky enough to come out with some seriously funny phrases.

Text your best blogging BFF.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  She will generally laugh at your folly while expressing her own writer's block.  It's good to conspire together on ideas that would worry or bore your readers all the while fostering a bond with said BFF.  It's always good to seek advice from another close individual who will justify your procrastination and lack of creativity.  After all two is better than one.

Eat chocolate.  This helps nothing as far as creative writing goes; however, it tastes really good and will generally make you feel better about your decision to not do what is intended.

Read other inspiring blogs so that you might fill your time with reading, furthering the lack of cleverness you have yet allowing you to feel justified in your stand-still.  After all, why blog when other's are blogging better?  Then follow with drinking something carbonated.  I go with Dr. Pepper, as it hits the ole blood stream life just looks a  little better.

Ask your husband or significant other what your should post about.  Generally they will stare at you strangely with some type of supportive, "I don't know." response.  This always allows a pick me up to the blogger in knowing that they never have ideas.  You just happened to be out of them. It's always easier to feel better about yourself when another's lack of resourcefulness is larger than your own.

Then when all else fails, write a vapid, flavorless post to say that you blogged.  It will justify the need to write and allow you to go on with your daily routine.  It will give you something to strive for, such as making the next post a little better.  (Although not in this case since yesterday's post was just as bad)

Last but not least it's always safe to put off your post until 4:30am the day it is "due".  When others know you're blogging that early in the morning they automatically set their expectations a bit lower.  It's a win, win situation.

I would like to point out that this might be a good time to go visit Nay over at Coffee-n-ink.  I imagine she might have a real post with real ideas and I'm just about done embarrassing myself... until tomorrow.

I'll be eating chocolate if anyone needs me.

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

I've got nothin'...

I do not want to blog today said little lazy Pidg McKae...

Oh, what is happening?  My blogging with scheduled (I'm ahead of the game) posts has now turned into....

Do you hear the crickets?  Oh just me?  hmmm

I cannot for the life of me think of a thing I want or much less need to say.  pshhh

So last week computer problems...out of my league.  Then I got sick...then became addicted to the game Minecraft which only fostered my lack of sleep with giving me something to do other than attempt to sleep which is worse than being up because my mind is more frustrated with the act of lying in bed pretending to be something I'm not... which is "asleep".

I've wanted to email.  Then talked myself out of it.
I've wanted to blog then responded promptly to myself with, "nahhh..."
I've wanted to cook.  No, not really, just trickin' so I didn't.
I wanted to clean.  Then walked away from the mess(es).

Who am I becoming?  Who is this unmotivated Pidg?  Ideas?  Anyone?  What do you post about when the world seems so lacking luster to talk about?  Fine, I'm lazy.  But still, what do you do?

I tried to get inspiration from my Nay who is feeling the same thing.  What?!  No, we can't have the same blah blog feelings at the same time... who will nurture the love of writing?  This is bad, this is very bad.

Maybe I should take some out of focus pics that might give me something to write about.

Or possibly, eat some Fritos and hummus; that seems to always pull me out of a slump.  Of course, so does chocolate.

I say I'm going to craft then I find myself not crafting.  This is beyond Procrastinating Pidg.  This is "You can't make me Pidg" or "Not Feelin' it Pidg".

Okay, I'm going back to the drawing board.  (Most likely to make a chore chart for my still sleeping
children)

If you have an idea comment.  Me?  Asking for comments?  Oh, please just please don't let "Boring Pidg" be on her way back.  We don't get along she' much too, well... boring.

This post was not worth publishing.  I know, but I will push the button regardless.  I mean really did you expect anything less?

I'll go and wake up the pidglets, they'll be irritated and that always makes me smile.

Over and out and beyond the inspiration of anything.


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Friday, June 14, 2013

Friday Funnies... not really

A quick recap on all that is important.  Fine, all that I feel like blubbering about because no one else is awake to listen to me.

I've been having computer problems like ridiculous and I haven't been online and have been sorely behind checking email on my phone because I'm easily discombobulated.

Thank goodness I had those two posts scheduled or I wouldn't have blogged all week.  (Oh the horror... and delight right?)  

First things first, what the heck happened to my font?  Holy cow I can't read the thing.  I promise to you this was not/ is not intentional.  I don't have word on the computer I'm using right now (refer to lazy) so I'm typing this one straight in blogger and I hope it's better.  I am not joining the ranks of tiny font.  I'm old.  remember this.  (wink)

On to Friday funnies.  I don't have many collected and the ones I did they are on my other computer and then I lost it.  Life is cruel in the posting world right now.  But I do have this lil convo between me and Po last night.

We don't often get into those morbid lil conversations because he thinks they're creepy even though I'm smiling... whatevs.  

So, I was telling him how I think I have brain damage.  (For reals go with me on this one)  I refer back to when that chick at work hit me in the head with a metal cart (that most people would have been rendered unconscious from) I think perhaps that had to do with my breakdown of all that made sense and that maybe, MAYBE... I am actually in a coma and I am dreaming up my life but  Po can't tell me because I'm talking to him in my dream but really he's sitting by my lifeless body in a hospital bed... with me?!  

Which led me to...

"Ohh...Po, are you a plug puller?"
Po:  "huh?"
Me:  "You know if something happened and I was on life support would you pull the plug on me?"  (should have had this discussion before marriage)
Po:  shakes his head, "No.  I couldn't do it."

Well this of course just spurred me on.  

Me:  "But what if I was a vegetable, brain dead and there was no return.  Would you then pull the plug?"

Po: "No."

Me: "My mom would pull the plug."

Po: "Probably."

(hysterical laughter)

Me:  "But you couldn't go on living your life because you were married to a girl in a comma."

Po:  "I would be just fine."

Me:  "At home?  While I'm lifeless in a hospital room - for the rest of my lifeless life?"

Po:  "I'd bring you home."

Me:  "You can't do that."

Po:  "Yes I can."

Me:  "That's depressing.  You'd live your life and raise my children around me lying in a bed doing (enter my interpretation of a breathing slash beeping hospital machine) the kids could never talk to me just see me lying there and you would just, what, play your games with me chillin' on life support on the bed?"

Po:  stares blankly at me as I look back...

Silence...

Me:  "Well, you wouldn't have to make a decision anyways."

Po:  "Why?"

Me:  "Hanna would probably end up pulling my plug anyway to plug in her iPod charger."

Po:  "True."

Sad little truths we learn about our families huh?  Oh, Hanna... love that kid.  

Okay, I'm off to figure out what is wrong with my font size and why I'm so lame with computers and why out of the 8 keys that stopped working on my keyboard one had to be the "P" button.

PidgApeg... really?  P, why must you betray me?

Lots a loves and self-diagnosis (wink)  Have a great weekend!


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Ughh... why is nothing working?  sheesh...