Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Spittin' Mad...

Please, I apologize in advance.  I have no idea where this is going.  What I’m thinkin’ is…I’m supposed to blog at least 3 times  a week.
{Which truly is nothing…in another person’s life.}

But for me …. Right now… as I snatch myself bald…
{Yes, I am thinking now of doctoring up a picture of me on picnic as bald Pidg}

Just for kicks.  But I won’t.  Not just yet.

So, I’m mad tonight. 
I mean cussing in my head like a sailor
{Goal #28 flushed down the toilet for this evening}
Angry, spittin’ mad!

My precious and beautiful and {trying to kill me with their mind powers}
teenage girls were on FI-AH  tonight.

Fighting.  Screaming.  Insulting.  Back biting.  {that must hurt} Screeching.  Crying.  Throwing stuff.  Beating each other before they could escape through the doorway.  Sometimes they got away, other times you just saw feet flying out through the door frame.  Slamming doors. 
Oh, those doors. 
That is enough to send me hurdling through the house to find the culprit. 
It’s always female. 
It’s always my offspring.
And THAT was all while I was having a lovely time re-caulking the bathtub.
{Po said it looked professional by the way.  He doesn’t know any better.
Love that man. wink}

So then after that do you know what happened?


I promptly took their door off the hinges.
{Properly, not like the “John Cena” type of removal.} 
I’m pretty sure it freaked them out at how fast and accurate my removal was.  In my mind, I looked extremely fantastically strong and collected
{not lame at all}
as I stormed off with a large wooden door in my hands.
I’m cool like that.

Then they kept eating and poking and digging at each other until I thought my ears were bleeding.
{Thankfully, they weren’t.  Lil Man checked for me. 
Hugs and flowers to Lil Man and Ethan who stayed out of their path of fury.}
So, with all of the maturity I could muster, I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Fine!  I get it!  You hate it here!  You hate everyone.  Go to bed!  ALL OF YOU!!!!”

They don’t actually hate it here.

They’re just teenagers.

Actually maybe they do hate it here sometimes…and that would generally mean there are too many rules, guidelines, chores and restrictions for them to be “comfortable”.
Which means…  I’m an okay mom.
{smiling again…not so smugly…more like with pride.}

So after MY outburst I walked out to the porch
{slamming my own door}
to take a timeout only to find that
the night was Very Still. 
I could hear the birds breathing.  So I’m thinking, with my arms crossed and my body immovable, nice one Pidg, I think even outer darkness heard your outburst.


I’m not even worried about forgiving myself.  It happens sometimes.  Really I was legitimately at my wits end and technically they deserved to be out on the porch not me.  So they got off easy.
{I now picture the closing of the Flintstones cartoon when Fred’s saber tooth cat puts him outside for the night.}

Just call me Fred. No really, don’t.

I just wish they would get it. 
Respect. Obedience. Tolerance.
Gratitude for what they have and who they have been blessed with.
But, tonight just isn’t that night.
So I start over in the morning.  Possibly, is that why I don’t like mornings?
Just a thought.  {smirk}

Well, that’s it.  I just needed to vent.  I have good children.  Even if they kill me just put that line in my epitaph, but just that.  If they really become the death of me they don’t deserve more that that.  Just one line,
“I have good children.”

Yep, that oughta do it.  {deep breath}

There is so much to be learned from parenting and so much to be taken in from all of these day-to-day trials. 
Today, this is what I have kept close in my heart:
In the end, {long profound pause}
One day they will have teenagers of their own.

See that’s it.  One sentence and I’m back on my feet.  Now I find myself full of cheer and smiling until my dimples create more wrinkles in my face.  Karma is patient and my friends…so am I.  {wink}

Have a Yabba Dabba Doo Time.
{I promise never to say that again.  But we all know I’m probably lying.}

Over and out good buddies… {now that one’s definitely a keeper!}


P.S.  Daddy, when you call me and ask if the door is back on through streams of laughter, even though I was a good teenager, the answer is Yes.  And I looked just as cool putting it back on as I did during it’s removal.  I’m certain.


  1. ok this post just scares me! Riah is not allowed to be a teenager. Although she already acts like one :(
    Hope tomorrow is better for yah :)

  2. Oh boy. I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I know this scenario too well. Except it's with my 3 little ones. I tell you some days I don't know how I will get through. It's just crazy! Hang in there. My 3 oldest have been through that stage and they have seen the light and apologized for their rotten behavior growing up. They will see one day and then it'll be better. :)

  3. I am sorry you are having a bad night! My kids drive me nuts and they are only 2 1/2 and 1 1/2. :) I can't imagine what it will be like when they are teenagers but I can tell ya, I am gonna remember removing their doors! That is totally something I would do.

  4. LOL!!! But I don't want Karma to be patient. I want it to forget all about me.

  5. You know, my mom did that to me when I slammed my door a lot... took it off. I hated it.. but it worked. Sorry to hear you had a rough night! You know, I was having a rough morning this AM and I wanted to call you.... I was thinking you'd be the one person who understood.

  6. Ohhhh this SO sounds like something my momma would've done! I'm pretty sure she could've just channeled her inner Jedi and used "the force" to remove my door straight from the hinges! LOL!


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