Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Off to the Endo we go...

Today I had to take Busy to her Endocrinologist.
{She goes every 3 months to check up on her Type 1 Diabetes and her Hypothyroidism}

This check and the next are scheduled for 6 weeks apart because we’re doing a major overhaul on her insulin.  Why?  Because my friends puberty…it tries to kill even the strongest of us.

Here’s a funny about puberty:  {I know, I really enjoy side notes. wink}

One time Ethan and I were talking about him not forgetting to use his deodorant.  He’s ten and he asked me why he needed it.  I explained that when puberty approaches your body changes and one of those changes is you start to stink.  I laughed and said for instance if me or Po didn’t wear deodorant people would run from the room.  I stopped for a second then grinned, “Well actually, Po never stinks…just me.”

Ethan thought for a moment then asked, “Mama, has Po hit puberty yet?”

Haha!  I love that boy!  {both of them. smirk}

So, back to Busy.  Her blood sugars are starting to go higher and be more pesky but thankfully she’s right on top of it.  Sure we have lil spats about the occasional snacking or grazing, but she is so good about it all.  She really does stay on top of it and always {thankfully} checks her blood sugar.

Well, her Endo wanted to try her for the pump.  Busy doesn’t want to. 
{It’s her body and she takes care of it well.
So I have left that decision up to her.}

Today Doc won out and she put a site in Busy’s arm with a tube but no pump; just so she could see what if felt like.  I was going to take pics but by the end of the day we took it out.  {we were supposed to} and she just was a lil punky so instead of harassing her with photos I just took it out for her.

The decision?  Nope, she’s still old school.  She prefers to do her own adjustments and doesn’t see a problem with her nightly dosage of Lantus {24-hour insulin} that she takes along with her Humalog {which is the insulin she uses to compensate for her carbs}  She said that equipment can fail and if she’s only avoiding the injections then she feels fine about the system we’ve already started.

Goodness I love that kid.  {too.  wink}  I love that at the age of 12
{but really 10 when she was diagnosed}
she makes sound decisions that she explores, contemplates then lands on the answer according to logic and oh so importantly her own thoughts and feelings.  I love watching her grow and mature into such an intelligent and knowledgeable young woman.  She researches and sticks to her decisions.  But, she always listens to opinions and suggestions; never shutting down because she fears change.

With that said, on the way home I had to stop and get gas.  As I washed the front windshield she sat in the front seat with her mouth open in a ridiculously goofy smile; her face almost touching the inside of the window as she followed the squeegee with her face.
{She was not making fun but she definitely resembled a very happy,
but ‘special’ child}
I love that about her too.  Never a dull moment!

I’ll keep you posted on the latest insulin overhaul.  Enjoy the rest of your week!



Saturday, January 28, 2012


I think we’ve talked about this before; that I get emails from my  
Heavenly Father?  Oh, we haven’t?  {cricket, cricket} awkward…

Well, let me explain.  I have an email subscription to these inspirational lil tidbits and scriptures that are delivered to my inbox at least twice a week. 
{Truthfully, I'm not sure how often they come.}
I do know they come when I need them.  We don’t have to be the same religion to understand Christ and the need for Him in our lives.  We don’t have to share the same religion to understand, prayer, fasting, faith and the inevitable necessary trials that enable us to become more like Him.  So, with that said…this is what I received on a day that was a little shattering.

“Because of Christ there is hope smiling brightly before you, and you need not worry too much about sickness, death, poverty, or other afflictions. The Lord will take care of you. Your responsibility is to keep the commandments, feast upon the words of Christ, and stay in the path to your heavenly home."
-Julie B. Beck

For those of you who don’t know… we are going through trials and ‘stuff’ big time.  I can’t really go in to details because of a certain person that likes to thwart my family’s lives.
{Starts with a Mr. ends with a B}
I’m sorry, I hate to be cryptic…Hahahaha! 
No, I’m good.  I just needed to get that out.

Anyway, let’s put it this way, Mr. B holds true to the oath in Harry Potter… “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”
{wait, maybe that was me that took that oath?}

Okay, back to the point.  We {as a family} have literally been all sitting in my room discussing things we’re facing and up pops an email that applies directly to the encouragement of the burden we are facing.
{stops…looks around for cameras}
But after this happened, more than a few times the pidgletts decided they were indeed emails from Him.  I have to agree…of course He’s up with all of the latest technology.  Right?  {wink}

What I do know is Heavenly Father’s timing is perfect and I just loved this bit of comforting advice that allows me to toss my worries back to Him and just keep my eye on the path.

This, incidentally, was one of the half-written emails I spoke about a few posts back.  And here’s another kicker…this is the email that followed a few days later:

"As we put our faith and trust to work, hope is born. Hope grows out of faith and gives meaning and purpose to all that we do. It can even give us the peaceful assurance we need to live happily in a world that is ripe with iniquity, calamity, and injustice."

-M. Russell Ballard

Funny right?  I think He was just trying to reiterate His point of Hope

The best thing about it is I am full of Hope…it’s free and easy to carry, and the more I give away, the more I find in my pockets.  {wink}

I’ll be off gathering, scatter and growing Hope…oh and a few chores before work.  {grin}

I think I just might have blogged at least 3 times this week.  Hmm, there may be “hope” for me after all!  Ahh Hahahaha!

Okay, I’m done.  O happy day!



Friday, January 27, 2012

We write...

The following sums it up.  Sums what up you ask… It.  Whatever it is.  But it’s definitely summed up.  It’s my latest letter to my children.

We write in this family.  {I think you knew that.}

We write as a form of communication to express feelings, issues, upset and jubilee.

Yes I said that…no we don’t usually talk about being jubilant.  But we will now at our next family dinner…you can bet your britches.
Yes I just said that too. wink

We write books on laptops and scribble out stories and imaginings upon tattered pieces of notebook paper.

We scroll notes, letters, and messages on tiny scraps of paper, gum wrappers and itty bitty boxes we’ve folded into origami.  We leave post it notes and torn halves of paper on tables and refrigerators, dressers and underneath clothes to be found as a surprise.

We leave messages and gigantic pictures in steamed up kitchen windows the size of Nebraska so a certain Mama can come home late from work and see the words of thoughtfulness fingered into the fog of the well-lit window.

We write to remind each other of things we will inevitably forget.  We write to share love and emotion of gratitude.  We write when we’re mad or frustrated or need to communicate what our words won’t form.  We write to apologize and beg forgiveness.  We write to express…we write to breathe.

We write for nothing…and anything…and everything.

Here is my latest letter of devotion to my children to…the house…okay fine, it’s a plea for my sanity.

But in the midst of a crowded mind trying to find what to write about I saw this note and it made me giggle.  It made the pidgletts giggle too. 
{Incidentally that wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for from them.}

But I know all of you parents will feel the pain. {wink}

Dear Beautiful and Glorious children that I love so dearly,

I am sad to tell you that you are all on notice of possibly losing your back door privileges.  After this day henceforth you will no longer be allowed to use the kitchen door due to your dumping of your crud all over my kitchen.  If you do not refrain from this act of crud dumping your back door privileges will be revoked permanently.

You will only be allowed to use the front door; the door that only strangers use.   If you then decided to dump your crud in my living room the cottage will be your new home.

I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause to your crud dumping crew.

Make your choices wisely.

Cinderella doesn’t live here anymore.

They giggled, but the crud dumping has been brought down to a minimum.  Oh, and here’s a picture of the cottage.  Don’t let it’s rustic beauty fool you.  It’s  a beautiful {freezing} storage shed.

Truth be told they’re probably packing their bags right now; they would enjoy it…until they realized the fridge stays with me!



Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Where O where?

Where have I been?  I really can’t tell you.  It’s not that I’ve been on some covert, top-secret military expedition, in which camouflage and a sniper rifle was required.  It’s certainly not that I’m involved in a stealthy underground operation that I thought I had retired from only to find out you can never really retire.  And please allow me to reassure you the word mercenary does not come to mind.

I’ve just been around.

{However if the first were true I couldn’t tell you anyway now could I?  wink}

There’s just a lot I can’t explain.  I get these colorful ideas to post and then sit my self down in front of the computer and suddenly I get this bad taste in my mouth.  {Not literally}  I just can’t seem to get my fingers to brush the keys.  I truly have 3 half written posts that are sitting open at the bottom of my desktop just waiting…flat and left wanting for the usual flair of whatever it is I sound like.

I wouldn’t really call it writer’s block per se it’s just …well, I’m lacking.

We have a lot going on; a lot that some of you know and most of you don’t know.  I don’t say that to be mysterious
{now you’re questioning the first again aren’t you? smirk}
I just really can’t spill all my business.
{On the blog anyway.}

I wished the other day that I had one of those tight little “invite only” blogs that I could spill my deepest ever-most darkest thoughts, worries and trials with those whom I trust and then I giggled {possibly spit} when I thought of the 2 people that would want to be invited into that lil room.  So here’s my other thought.  I wish I could just keep about two people out.

But then in the middle of my, yes you guessed it, funk; I heard this obnoxious voice in my head {sounding a lot like my own} 
“Hey, get up you loser… {Yah, definitely sounds like me}  moving isn’t enough.”
“Move faster.”

See, I started thinking even as the dark is closing in, that’s exactly when I need to grasp my moment to shine.
That’s the moment that matters most; the time I get to hope and give and grow more.  While I’ve been a lil numb lately I am still functioning.  I’m just not functioning to my fullest of full capacity.  That’s where I’ve been.


Wading, trudging, not so gracefully treading the waters of adversity.  I’ve been trying to put more into my pidgletts emotionally and physically.  I’ve been sitting on the edge of a turning point waiting for those tiny fissures to open that I need to fill for Po.

It’s tense…but it’s good.
We’re good.

With all of the trials of 2011 I thought 2012 would bring a different light. 
Let me tell you.
And while the light right now looks more like a spotlight as you hop the barbed-wire fence of a maximum security prison facility and it’s blinding and white, and it hurts when you look directly towards it…I just simply…don’t.

I function a bit slower and focus {I know right…me focus? giggle} on the lil things.  The lil things that keep our family together; the lil things I can change or make better.

I know there’s something good, something bigger and better at the end of this one.  But right now all I care about is that we get through it together.

While I want to write on my books and on this blog I think sometimes I spread myself too thin.  Fine, I know sometimes I spread myself too thin.  But right now, I am giving myself permission to flail and splash and gasp as long as I keep us moving forward.   I might not go to everything I’m supposed to attend.  I might not do all of my chores or fill each moment with movement.  Sometimes I sit down and feel like it’s been hours I’ve been thinking. 
{But don’t worry, I checked, it’s not.}
But I do need to press a little more forward, reach a little higher and push a little harder.  Doors open if you keep trying the handle.
Funny how that works huh? {smirk}

Today, this post, isn’t a pity party…oh no it’s definitely not that.  It’s an explanation that I needed to write so that I might re-read it and see if it’s an accurate fit.  As you know, I self-analyze a bunch and I just need to verify with my inner Pidg what I’m really feeling.
{I mean how can I have rational conversations with myself if I don’t know how I’m feeling right?}

Right now my 37 goals for the year are condensed:

Pray constantly
Love my family
Lather, rinse, repeat

Now I’m off to go and see if those other 3 posts are keepers or if they get tossed into the pile of “maybe laters”.

One more thing I want to share.  If this were my world and things were on my time; I would turn off my computer, take each key off and clean underneath.  I would then place it strategically back on and smirk each time I heard that lil click as it fit back into it’s proper place of rest.  Why?  Because I can control that too.  {grin}  Unfortunately I don’t have the time and I really don’t know why I just told you that…other than …well, there really is no reason.  But it’s true and now I’m leaving.

Happy whatever day of the week it is!



Friday, January 20, 2012

Happy Birthday Moi...

Me:  “Hey Moi, what day is your birthday on?”
Moi:  “Umm…the 20th…”

Me:  “Ahh Hahahahahahahaha!  Yah, I know, I was there.  I meant what day of the week does it fall on…”

Yah, we’re simple like that…  BUT, guess what today is?

Moi’s 14th birthday for the 3rd year in a row!


{Really, she’s 16 today but she made a promise to me that she would stay 14.  She’s doing her best.  She’s a good kid!}

Oh, how I love this child.  She’s such a sweet, wonderment of joy in my life.  She {at 16…shh don’t tell}  still toddles around after me and sits or stands right next to me and talks and talks and we giggle and plot and plan and laugh at how silly and conniving we could be if we wanted to. 
Oh how lucky I am my high school baby still loves to spend time with me. 

She’s the child of nicknames…
Mo, Moi, Moira, Mozie bear, Mozilla, Eski-Mo, Lilo, Sparx, Moi-zee, Moizenberry, and when I get angry and mess up all their names she sounds like a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich:
McHanna, McBusy, McEthan, McLo

She’s an artist and an amazing photographer.  She’s nature at it’s best.

When people only scratch the surface of McKenna they think she’s shy, dainty, polite and sweet.
{Okay, she’s sweet and polite…I’ll give them that.}
But my Moi is
Ridiculously talented
Talkative and fun
She’s out there and forms her own opinion of everything
Fiercely oh so fiercely loyal
Loving and compassionate

The list goes on and on…just think of good and wonderful things and you can make your own list.  She has the voice of an angel and I hear them sing with her each time she blesses us with her talent.

Happy Birthday to my second in command of the army of heathens!  She’s the lifeblood to all that is family, the keeper of our secrets and the leader of our dreams.  My healing seraph, the smile when it gets a little chilly.

Happy birthday my sweet and petite
McKenna Rae…
I’m so very proud you’re mine.



Tuesday, January 17, 2012

This is what I know...

This is what I know:

At this moment…right now…here it is, my knowledge to it’s fullest

Each of my children swear almost on my life
{until another child stops them for fear of me dropping dead}
that they are not and were not in my craft room whilst I was doing other so very important things {procrastinating}

I have found {just today} articles belonging to EACH of my individual children in my craft room that were not there the last time I sat my tookus down in said room.

I want to color my hair.  Definitely.

I won’t keep up with coloring my hair.  Fo-shizzle.

I am listening to Michael Bublé’s Christmas CD.  At this moment.

I am going to marry Michael Bublé’s voice.  At this moment.  Po said it was okay as long as it was just his singing voice.  I’m still married to Po’s speaking voice.  {I’m grinning right now; at both voices.}

I wish it was Fall again.

I am procrastinating.  Again.

I honestly thought {while “moving” things around in my craft room} What I would wish for if I had 3 wishes.  The craft room being magically cleaned and organzized {yes I spelled that right according to Bailey’s 2 year old self} was definitely one of my wishes.  Actually it was a plea to a Fairy Godmother since I was dusting and fancying myself Cinderella.  {I do that}

I am never speaking to my children again because of the way this house looks.

My fairy Godmother must have missed the memo.  The craft room is still in dissary.

I want In N’ Out burger …not found anywhere near the region of North Carolina.  I might die without it.

I haven’t written in two weeks.  I wonder what my characters are up to without me.

Yes, I’m still procrastinating.  Well, I’m blogging as a form of evading {shirking} a more important need while still attempting to fulfill one of my goals.  {blogging 3 times per week}  No, I’m not proud.  Yes, I am giggling. 

Fritos ARE good with salsa...who knew?

I’m taking “my” chair out of the craft room so I can’t sit in front of the computer …again.

I am re-playing Michael Bublé’s Christmas CD…starting now.

I need your prayers, or rather, the craft room does.

Over and out.



Friday, January 13, 2012

{Please sing this in the tune of “The Mickey Mouse Club” theme song…}
♫♪Who’s the sweetest chick a dee that ever ever was?
P.I.D…G.A.P…E.G. la la la
I’m so happy to be hear todaaaaaaaaaaay!
P.I.D…G.A.P….E.G. la la la♪♫♪

{Jeez that was hard to type out, but sounded really good in my little ole head!}

I am really happy to be a guest blogger-ette on this bloggy…and you know why I’m here already, so I’m not going to tell you…
{I’m not and you can’t make me!}

I’m Her Bloggy 
B F F!!!
{I know you didn’t ask or twisted my arm or anything, but I said it anyway…}

Can I tell you that Pidgy inspires me every single day?! 
And she really knows how to make me laugh and cry (not on purpose)…which is pretty awesome considering I’ve never met her…ever!

We’ve started doing little copycat posts here and there…see
…and it’s been fun…

We have some stuff in common:

Our husbands drive us crazy (I say this with A LOT of love)…
We love love love our kids a little too much …
(the whole hugging until they suffocate doesn’t cross my mind ever!)
We write, write, and write some more…
We’re both from California…
We’re around the same age…
(okay, I’m older by a YEAR, but I let her be the “oldest” ‘cause she’s such a smartie!)
We both aren’t fans of KFC and love Taco Bell
{I was running out of stuff that we had in common}

So I wanted to tell all of you how awesome she is…how much she appreciates each and every one of her readers/followers….and if she could, she’d probably go door-to-door to tell ya!

So I have a little confession to make:

I wasn’t exactly “invited” to guest post…I kinda sorta snuck into the blog and started writing…but Pidgy is totally busy today (teaching a craft class among the other 100s of things she gets herself into) and I wanted to give her a hand on here….

I do think she’ll kill me for barging in…
But she can’t physically do anything about it….
{evil laugh}
‘Cause I’m all the way across the country!
{just can’t stop laughin’!}

I crack myself up…Have an awesome weekend!
Pidgy loves you,
~ Nay ~

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Lying Lie-face...

Do you ever lie to yourself?

I do.

All the time. 
As a matter of fact, I am a total lying lie face.  {giggle}

Do you ever say things like…
I ate less than I did that day so I can justify my guilt.  Um…hello, I’m the one who put the food in my mouth and I know just exactly how much I over indulged.

Like…when I say I’m going to eat better but I know there are leftover brownies that I would die before letting go to waste.

Or when I say I’m going to drink diet soda but there is still regular Dr. Pepper in the house.  Like I’m gonna make the right choice?  I mean come on, let’s be logical!

{Hey, why is my blog like a confessional?  Or for that matter, why are all those admissions about food?  Hmm, may need to look into that further.}

Wait, here’s a non food one…
I’m gonna clean my craft room and not blog {oops} on my day off but now I find myself sitting at the computer in the one open space I could manage to create.
{Hindsight: Should have left that one out too.  Winks at reflection in the craft room window.}

These are NOT good intentions; they are lies.  And I know it when I tell myself.  {And for some strange reason I giggle about it too.  My problems are probably a bit deeper than yours are. smirk}

So, with that said.
{Have you ever noticed how much I love the word “so”?  I bet you will now.  Grin.}

Anyway, {wanted to insert “so”...oh so bad.}
I noticed another lil trend on my path of lying.  I also tell myself things like this:

I can’t do this anymore.  When I prove time and time again
I can.

I can’t do everything by myself.  But each time I pray He keeps me straight and afloat.

Or… I need a break!  When in all honesty, I’m just a busy, working, mom, wife and aspiring writer that needs to step it up and stop taking “breaks”.
{Except when a heating pad is needed…see, which brings me back to heating pants…and mobility with warmth…..hmph}

I know with adjustment comes an adjustment period.
I’ve had that time.
Things are still changing and strangling, but I’m not a quitter.
I am not a pansy muffin.

Or am I?  Is THAT just another lie?
{Haha…I wanted to just explore that lil irony.}

The answer is no.  It’s life.  In the words of my own self-proclaimed
family motto:

Suck it up and be a man!

Yah, I imagine your mottos are a bit more dainty.  I don’t do dainty, or pretty…I shower…what more do you want from me?
{I almost added a wink at the end of that, but then I thought you might think it was pertaining to the showering part.  Hee hee…I do…I swear it.}

Why do I do this?  I mean come on, I know I’m lying to myself when I say these things.  Well, I think it’s…
I think I have a lot on my plate, but my purpose, my “job” if you will is a heck of a lot bigger than this.
Six kids?  I was a single mom of 8 when I took in two other teenage girls.  My goodness, it’s like a vacation, I only have 5 at home now.
{Back up, let’s be honest, that was another lie…that whole vacation thing…}
But you get it.

When I was that single Mama,
I worked a fulltime 3rd shift job then went across the street and worked a full time 1stshift job.
And I’m weepy about the physical tasks of this job? Well I’m not weepy, I love it, but I certainly don’t need to “rest” or hide from the world when I get home.  I just need to manage better.

My shops are neglected.  Uh…I’m neglecting them. 
What I’m saying is I make a

and I choose
to do or do nothing.

And I need to do…better.

So, I will.  I imagine I will stumble.  I’ve learned to bounce with the set backs.  But my theme for 2012?
{I bet you didn’t know I was working on a “theme” did you?  Yah, me either.}
Is to just do better and do it right. 
Legitimately and intentionally do every single thing with purpose and without excuses or the easier way out.  No more “lies” to fill the gap where the real, honestly good intentions lie.  Nope, just keep telling myself what I can and will do.  And with a whole lot of help from my Father in Heaven I just might improve a whole lotta bit.

Yep, that’s what I’m going to do.
{Can you see an inspirational sign in my future?  Yah, me too…I’m pretty excited…giggle}

Have a splendid day on purpose!