Monday, October 3, 2011

The bag...

Wow, just when you think you’ve got all the bad news in the bag.  You shake it up and slowly pick out one of those little papers to work on.  A tiny word strip - a bit like a fortune cookie.   

{taking deep breath

You unfold the paper…

Rules of the game:  Take out one strip of paper, deal with each problem. 

*If, by chance, more than one paper escapes above mentioned bag - All papers must be dealt with simultaneously as soon as they hit the air.  Said bag resembles Pandora’s box for the individual who owns it.

Back to the paper; that small slip of challenge, trial and burden.  Wait…the bag, its wet…tears of anticipation perhaps?  It’s too late, the bottom breaks, the papers fall weightlessly to the ground.  They flutter as crisp leaves in the fall to the floor of accountability, responsibility and undeniable fear.  They’re out, they’re yours; the clock has started...

That’s how I felt today and several other days of my life.  The bag broke, the troubles I thought I had neatly tucked away in a legal box of wonder are back… back to be dealt with…back to deal me the raw end of the deal again.

With all of my colorful faults I can say without hesitation I am not greedy.  I don’t care for selfishness and when it appears it usually displays it’s ugly head over something like the last piece of my Mama’s made-from-scratch chocolate pie.  

{I wait until everyone is at school and work and then I eat it.  I am only attempting to defuse a future fight amongst the children when they get off the bus.  Wink}

I don’t want more than I deserve 
I don’t want what I haven’t worked for 
I don’t want what doesn’t belong to me 
I don’t want to fight

Whoops…there it was, it was that last one…”I don’t want to fight.”   

I, in the past, was known to be quite a fighter.  I was the rebel, the spitfire, the words probably not considered to be appropriate... but I was and am judged that way.  I open my mouth.  I will protect what is in need of protection.  Fear?  Not on my list…
{’cept huge spiders & clowns}

But strangely enough that good quality of not wanting to fight is what does me in every time.  I relinquish the steam of pride and injustice just to soften the tide.  But because of that I am squashed as foot meets ground and I am the bug. 

But you know what?...Not this time.   

This time there is more riding on it, more beings in need of light, healing and security. 

Fear?  Yes. 

I’ve lived this life too long to not be afraid.  I’ve actually started a book of that fear as told by an awful recurring dream I keep having. 

I stare at this tiny pile of parchments; fears, trials and ongoing challenge scrolled on its surface waiting to be overcome. 

And I will

And He will help me…

As a matter of fact, He will do most of it…I just have to remember to believe.

John 8:12

“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.”

In this large world of money, power, greed and …well, consistency; I am happy not to be in need of more than what I have been blessed with.  I’m thankful to have “friends” in high places…the Most High actually.  I am thankful I don’t  have to go through anything on my own unless I choose it…which I don’t. 

Where there is darkness, He is my light…
Where there is strength there is struggle… and that builds me up to possibly be able to help others better and more diligently.

Now picture those tiny strips of paper once more.  Do you see it?  Those hurtful words of a torrential downpour; now watch this…

{Taking deep breath...again}

Mental Note:  Next time use plastic instead of paper for the bag. {wink}

Enjoy your Monday!




  1. Aaaah, that was absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Loved every word of it. I hope you have taken good notes on that dream. Sounds like a good idea for a book. I too have had a recurring dream. If I had money to throw away I would have paid somebody to interpret it. I finally figured it out about a month ago. It was a big AH-HA moment. I wish that I had notes from what was going on in my life all the other times I had the dream but I have no records. When I'm really ready to pore out my soul I'll have to share mine in a blog. Until then, I'm happy to say I believe I'm finally in control of not having the dream again!

  2. Great way to explain it! So thankful His grace covers over me in every way! :O)

  3. This is amazing! The last picture with the red words covered over, wow! So true!

  4. Wow, this is intense. You okay?

    I love the picture where the words are replaced with new words. Very convicting.


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