Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I Have a Question...


Okay, bloggy peeps…here’s a question.  I have started this path of scrawling out words to paper {if you will} Troubles, humor and a few struggling moments on this here blog without stopping to think what I actually want for this thing. 

I have attempted to be discrete about not mentioning names or who does what as far as the “troubles”.  Even so much that in one of my posts, a sweet woman assumed my thoughts were directed towards my husband.  {Ooops…sorry Po.} 

I have since redeemed him of any fault or blame.  When it’s Po being a turd-face, I will surely put his name in there to take the credit.  Haha!  Luckily he’s all sweet and thoughtful and hardly a trouble maker so you won’t hear much about him.

{Except all the mushy…he’s so wonderful and great and I have a huge crush on him stuff.}

HOWEVER…

There is one.  There is a constant threat, a haunt of past, present and future that affects everyone and everything around me.  How do you stay neutral?  We had an incident last night.  It was awful and left one of my strongest babies in tears in a public place.  How, when this blog is for ME and my thoughts and “therapy” do you not say THOSE things when they’re on your mind?  Or do you? 

I mean honestly, most of you who follow me don’t know me…my parents, who follow me already know all of this junk.  I don’t want to turn this blog into a bash session and if you’ve read most of my posts then you know even on the worst days I attempt to bring my “woes” back around to something positive.  That allows me to draw strength from the Spirit.  If I didn’t do that I would be flat out depressed all the time.  Frankly, I’m too busy to be depressed.

So, with that said I guess I’m asking for advice.   

To share or not to share?
My opinion is sort of … “If you don’t want to hear it, don’t read the post.”  And I have found that people with the “don’t want to hear it” attitude are uncomfortable when others are going through things they don’t understand or can't relate to.
{Kind of like people who are not comfortable around diversity or people with special needs…it’s like an involuntary prejudice.}

And that's alright.

I have the post written.  But I thought better of just automatically throwing it out there.  I really am attempting to be thoughtful of those who do know me.  I’ve always done that...Thought about others’ feelings around me {even the person who is offending me} and because I don’t defend myself or my character I am the one who is judged and they are the ones who just continue the disturbance. I or we are the ones with real pain and yet said offender is off plotting out other strategies. 

I think I’m pretty tired of that.

I think I need to say something…every once in a while…even if it’s just on this online journal of sorts.  It’s not a secret.  I don’t have secrets.  I have things that are personal.  But if this in particular struggle continues to remain hidden away in a shameful box and not shared; you really can’t know me.

Okay, I'll let you toss that around in your brain...I'm off to be productive...of sorts.  {wink}

 loves,

Pidg


5 comments:

  1. I have the same problem!! I'm always constantly censoring who's name I put with my issues because of the people I know IRL that read my blog. I try to vent without saying the name or even the specific problem, because I know that it will come out IRL. Most of my issues dealing with my mother in law and my sister in law to-be. But I hate feeling like I'm censoring myself on my blog :( Some tell me to write what I want because it's my blog and my thoughts, but I'm worried about creating even more problems in my life because of it. It sucks!!!

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  2. See Rebecca that's just it though. There are so many out there like us. I certainly DO NOT want to open flood gates...that's not me. I just want to be able to express my thoughts freely when I need to. My husband told me once he thinks perhaps I've gone through so much of this so that one day, in turn, my story might help others...I don't know maybe we should start a club... :)

    Thanks so much for commenting!

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  3. I totally get what you're saying girlie. I totally believe in spilling my guts and I have no problem sharing MY feelings. I feel like it's my right to express how I feel because only I can tell the truth of my own story. Only I can speak MY OWN truth. It may not be what people want to hear or agree with...but they can go and tell their own story then. But then...the good in me comes out. The part that doesn't really want to hurt anybody's feelings or make things worse...ugh. So it's a struggle. I think, though, if done in a tactful way and with the thought of helping someone out there who may have the same feelings or is going thru a similar problem, then you should do it. And that's my 2 cents...hope this helps :)

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  4. I know exactly what you mean - for all of us newbie bloggers, it's really hard to know what to write, when to write about it, etc. I say GO FOR IT! If it releases you then He wants that for you and by His Grace you will feel good about whatever you write about. I am a new follower {just this week}, but I want to know what makes you tic tic tic already...and remember we're all here when you need us:)
    xoxo

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  5. I can understand what you are saying. I started this blog wanting to share my thoughts and feelings on things I'm inspired to share. I do need to censor some things only because there are some things that I'd rather not share with my parents or want my older kids to read. However, I do believe that my inspiration on what to share is to help others. Each time I have hesitated to post something very touchy I have got the most encouragement by because it helped someone else. Also, sometimes we as humans need to know that we are not alone. These things don't only happen to us, even if they are happening at a different degree in our own lives. I say share it. We are each given our journey for a reason. There will be people out there that won't like it, family or not. We are not here to please everyone. Easy to say, hard to deal with I know. I'm new at this and I am dreading the day if I ever get a mean comment or someone IRL have a problem with what I post. I'm here for you no matter what. :) {{HUGS}}

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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I heart them oh so much!