Monday, August 22, 2011

The attack...

So last night I was on the computer attempting to answer an important email...umm...well I'll be honest it was only important to the person waiting on the return email.. ;)  But needless to say, I was responding when suddenly from the kitchen...Well, I'll get to that...

THIS...is what I did last night...

Except for I took the pics this morning because I can only get bad pics during the day...at night you can't see them..heehee
Please note the amazing one handed tape job.  Yes, I am a professional...no, no one was home to help me.
Here's the good hand.  See that obnoxious turquoise spot?  Picture it as a chunk of skin taken out of my hand...except for the other hand.  The hand now known as "The Bad hand"  so sad... 

 A lovely dime size chunk of skin was lifted in a traumatic moment. I really wanted to post pics of the actual wound...it's so awesomely gross!  Thankfully I got the bleeding to slow so that I didn't have to take a trip to the ER...But I'm one of those spit on it and hold 'er tight kinda Mama's anyway.  (If it had been one of my children.  Oh yah, for them, it would have been bad.  I don't spit on their wounds. I take them to a doctor. wink)

So back to the attack.  There was fighting...screaming...gnashing of teeth..dishes being tossed about.  (Okay maybe not 'tossed about' but it sounded good...I could hear them 'clinking' okay?)

Here's where the attack took place.

Yah, right there.

Do you see?  The looming danger?  The snarling, vicious, premeditated mind of an assailant?
Well, here's a better view.  Yah, that thingy-do on the door frame.  You know, that object that isn't even sharp.  Yah, that thing...{sigh}
 Here's how it went down.  My two younger girls were fighting in the kitchen.  Why?  Because they didn't want to do the dishes and heaven forbid they do the chore together{On a side note.  I never ask them to do the dishes.}

They were fighting so I went into the kitchen and began first singing in my not meant to be sung out loud voice...a primary song.  "I want to be kind to everyone for that is right you see.  So I say to myself remember this...Kindness begins with me!"  Yah, they hate it when I do that. But to me, it just never gets old.  

The second time I came out of the room I was a bit firmer. Told them to work together or one of two things would happen.  

1. I would make one of them (the more ornery one) do it by herself or
2. After said task is finished I would assign another joint task.

OH!  THE HORROR!

I sat down to respond to my ridiculous email...I mean important email and low and behold screaming, fighting, gnashing of teeth {wait maybe those were my teeth} 

I stood up, threw my head phones on the table stormed towards my bedroom door that leads to the kitchen (yah...I know...access everywhere.  The weight gain is still a mystery)  Flung the door open with my left hand...poked my head in and screamed "Just get out!" while I leaned on the door frame.  

My thoughts?  Oh, just get those two punk-like children out of my kitchen so I can do the dishes in peace.  They stopped, I said it again.  "Get out! I will do the dishes.  Just make the fighting stop..." {Wait, my hand feels warm..why are they staring at me?}

Small pools of crimson were already decorating my kitchen floor. I turn back towards my room in a more than my usual calm voice and look at my husband.  "Umm..Baby, I cut my hand.  Umm bad."

I didn't know he could move that fast.  Or the girls for that matter...{hair blows in my face as their bodies disappear into the farthest room attached to the house.  
{snicker... that part was funny}

Everyone was worried...
BLOOD! ..so much blood...the dogs were freaking out...

Especially Jack!  He's a Mama's dog...and so naturally he was completely out of sorts.

 
Well, I don't know.  Maybe Charlie was more worried.  He was definitely giving Jack a run for his money on panic!

So that's it.  Possibly the most pathetic injury to date.  I still can't even figure out how I did it.  I've always been pretty talented that way.  It's true.  

But this morning, I mowed my parents lawn (push mower thankyouverymuch) one handed.  I showered and washed my curly nappy hair one handed, did laundry, swept, drove and got the lawn mower back out of my car...yes, all one handed.  But here's a tidbit of funny.  Know what I can't do?  Fold socks.  You know that little rolly thing you do?  Yah, can't do it.  Will my family ever survive these weeks of unfolded socks?  {sniff}

Well, that's all I've got for entertainment today!  Hope you guys are having a great Monday.  Be careful around door thingy-dos.  You can never be too careful!  I'm out!

Loves,


Pidg




 



8 comments:

  1. Oh no you poor little dear!! Darn those stupid door thingy-do's!! Doing things one handed is sure a royal pain in the behind. Hope it gets better soon :)

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  2. {giggles} Thanks Lacee...I'm such a pansy muffin sometimes!

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  3. DANG GIRL!!! Who knew houses could be so DANGEROUS! :) Good thing you are one TOUGH COOKIE!!!
    I just checked out your etsy store and I LOVE your stuffed pumpkins...what would you think about doing a giveaway for them on my blog!.?...since Halloween is coming up and I am getting ready to make my house full of everything fall!!:) Let me know!
    XOXO
    Sadie Jane
    www.simplysadiejane.com
    simplysadiejane@yahoo.com

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  4. Andi Darling, YOU are a ADORABLE... blood and all. Hope your hand gets better soon... off to powder my nose... xoxo

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  5. You are so funny. I love how panicked the dogs looked. :) that must have hurt. Hope your hand is healing ok.

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  6. You guys are so great! I have comments..me comments! Thank you!

    Salena, I'm so excited I'm on someone's blog Fun stuff!!! {grabbing your button cuz I'm spreading the love!}

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  7. too bad socks can't fold themselves

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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment. I heart them oh so much!